Blame the Baby: How to Use Your Kid as an Excuse
Becoming a new parent has its challenges (spit-up in your hair, colic, weight gain). Fortunately, it comes with a few really awesome upsides, too! You now have an excuse for everything under the sun. Here are some good ways to pass the buck to baby.
The Kids Made Me Late
Diaper blowouts, tantrums, fevers and more. Kids come chock full of acceptable reasons for tardiness. Now what’s your excuse for missing all those Friday morning college classes back in the day?
They Messed It Up
We all know your home is normally impeccably clean. Blaming the kids for the clutter is the oldest trick in the parent handbook. It works equally well on friend, neighbors, and in-laws who decide to drop by unannounced.
Lost in the Toys
You didn’t lose that very important piece of paperwork. The kids hid it! We use this for everything from doctor bills to insurance forms.
Mama Brain Drain
Forgetting important deadlines? Misplaced your keys again? It’s that dang baby zapping all your brain cells! Don’t worry, you’ll have room to think clearly after they go off to college.
Moms love to blame their kids for that extra poundage clinging to their thighs (though we all know the baby didn’t force-feed you Oreos at Doritos at 1am). You can milk that “baby weight” excuse until they go off to kindergarten.
The Baby Broke It
You may not be able to replace that china dish your aunt Gertrude gave you last Christmas, but you certainly don’t have to take credit for its loss and incur her wrath. Nobody gets mad at babies for their klutziness.
Don’t feeling like mingling with coworkers at the latest office party? No sweat! Nobody will question the sick kid excuse, and you can spend the evening doing something more productive. Like catching up on your DVR.
A Threenager is a teenager trapped in a three year-old's body. Check out the some funny Threenager parenting tweets.view gallery
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