Calm Parents ... Calm Baby

Reviewed by Dr. Mary Ann LoFrumento in June 2010

Back 1  2 Next

Parents often feel great joy with the arrival of a baby, but they can also feel overwhelmed by a tremendous sense of responsibility. Learn why a mixture of happy and unhappy feelings is normal for new parents.

A common myth promoted by television commercials is that caring for your new baby will be completely filled with blissful moments. This is certain to create anxiety for you if you are a first-time mother or father. Like most new parents, you are probably experiencing a mixture of feelings, and this is normal.

While it is important to recognize that adjusting to a new baby is a monumental change, it is also important to remember that your baby is picking up on your emotions.

The Whirlwind

There are many reasons why your feelings fluctuate.

• Moms and dads are sleep deprived. In the early weeks following the birth of your baby, you are just plain tired. Your baby is sleeping a lot but not at the right times.
  
  
• Mom just had a baby. The physical and emotional toll of giving birth is enormous. While you might feel great right after the delivery because you are overjoyed, your body still has about six weeks of recovery ahead. Some physicians suggest even longer for regular processes to be back to normal.
  
  
• You have lots of visitors. In the first few days or even weeks, friends and family gather to celebrate the arrival of your bundle of joy. This can mean that you are playing hostess and not getting needed rest.
  
  
• Your visitors have gone. After the rush, everyone goes home. At first, this is a welcome release from entertaining, but soon the isolation of caring for your baby sets in. You may not live near family or even know your neighbors, so finding support may be challenging.

Proactive Strategies

There are many things you can do to acknowledge your feelings and nurture your relationship with your baby.

• Reach out. Establishing connections with other mothers before you feel overwhelmed is the key. Many churches, community centers, and hospitals have new mothers' groups.



• Watch that baby. Your baby may already be equipped with the ability to calm himself. Does he suck his wrist or fingers? Does he get quiet and relaxed sitting in front of a window? Your baby will use sucking, his vision, and body motion as a means of self-calming. Once you notice your baby's talents, you can encourage them.
Back 1  2 Next

Related Links

Article:	Wait a Minute! Delayed Cord Clamping Could Benefit Baby
Advice:	What problems can be associated with a low Apgar score?
Slideshow:	Daddy and Baby Bonding
Quiz:	What's Your Newborn Vocabulary IQ?
Poll:	What kind of diapers do or did you use for Baby?
More on Newborns