14 Funny Moments During Your First Date Night After Baby
What's the first date night after having a baby really like? Expect one (or more!) of these things to happen...
Giving instructions for the babysitter
…that are ten minutes longer than they need to be and end with you planting tearful kisses on your baby.
The euphoria you feel when you drive away
…until you suddenly freak out because you catch sight of the empty car seat in the rearview mirror.
Feeling suave at the restaurant
…until the hostess asks how many and you automatically say, “Two and a baby.”
Trying to discuss the topics of the day over dinner
…and realizing you have no idea what’s going on. “So did you hear Miley Cyrus did something strange or something?”
Giving up and talking about the baby
…which inevitably leads to…
Looking at photos of your baby on your smart phone
….and then showing them off to your waitress. “This is her sleeping. And this is her sleeping in her blue onesie. And this is her sleeping in her red onesie!”
Wondering what your baby is doing at that exact moment
…and then sneaking outside to call. “She had a diaper change? And now she’s napping? Great! I’ll call you again in twenty minutes!”
Sharing a laugh as you play “spot the parents.”
“Think they’re parents?” “No way. She has a brand new manicure.” “Wait! That guy over there is nodding off. Definitely a parent!”
Having an out-of-body experience when the food comes
…because you’ve been living off the same three easy at-home meals for months.
Chatting with the couple at the next table
…and having an actual adult conversation. “Are you serious? She put the foam finger where? So that’s what everyone’s been talking about!”
Taking an after dinner stroll arm-in-arm
…and finally getting comfortable with being away from the baby.
Until you see the time
…and realize you told the babysitter you’d be home in ten minutes.
Returning to your baby’s side
…and cuddling her like you were gone ten long years.
Then, finally, after being home a few hours
…wondering when you’ll get the chance to hit the town again.
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