Nightmares and What to Do about Them

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Nightmares and night terrors can cause enormous distress to children and adults. The author of the book: "Your Child's Dreams" explains differences between both experiences and offers insightful tools, and a step-by-step guide on how to cope when we, or our children, are affected by those situations.

With the escalation of recent events in the Middle East, families are inevitably affected by the war, whether directly or indirectly. Our children are no exception. Even young kids, with their natural antennaes tuned to detect the slightest variation in their routine, are alerted by the climate they sense around them, and the serious tone of family discussions. The fact that much of the news may be beyond their grasp or understanding can be instrumental in creating a climate of fear and insecurity. This can surface in the form of nightmares or night terrors, particularly if your child has loved ones on the front lines.

Here is a set of guidelines for emergency use following a nightmare. To make it easy to use, I repeat some material in each section. Now would be a good time to read the first section on general principles for dealing with nightmares to get an overview. When your child has (or you have) a nightmare, turn to the section dealing with the nightmare in question for immediate help. Each section is independent so you don't have to continually refer to the beginning.

Common Dream Themes

If your child's nightmare is not specifically described, locate the nearest equivalent. If nothing seems to fit, read the section on chase or attack dreams. (If you had the nightmare, think of the comments as referring to the child-in-you.)

Here are specific nightmares that are discussed individually:

• Chase or attack
  
• House on fire
  
• Falling
  
• Vehicle out of control
  
• Injury or death
  
• Being paralyzed or stuck
  
• Kidnapped
  
• Great water: tidal wave, flood, drowning
  
• Being lost

Note: When a child awakens during the night, parents must first of all determine whether the situation is a night terror or a nightmare. Read about the differences now to be better prepared when the time comes.

Night Terrors

If your child exhibits two or more of the symptoms listed below, he or she probably has "night terrors," an episode of awakening from sleep in a state of acute panic. Most characteristic is the sense of extreme terror; often there is no recall of having dreamed.

Symptoms of Night Terrors

• Child abruptly awakens with a piercing scream.
  
  
• Child appears terrified or in pain.
  
  
• Child cries, moans, yells, or mumbles incoherently.
  
  
• Child sits up, jumps out of bed, or runs around.
  
  
• Child's eyes are open but unseeing; appears dazed; pupils dilate; may hallucinate
  
  
• Child's heartbeat is racing (double the normal rate).
  
  
• Child perspires profusely.
  
  
• Child breathes rapidly and shallowly; may gasp for breath.
  
  
• Child remains agitated for several minutes to half hour.
  
  
• Child rebuffs attempts to console; attack runs its course.
  
  
• Child has been asleep only one-and-a-half hours (two-thirds of all episodes occur early in the night).
  
  
• Child may have night terrors at any age but is often younger—three to five years old.
  
  
• Child has little or no recall of dream imagery; any imagery consists of a single violent threat.
  
  
• Child has no recollection of attack in the morning.

First Aid For Night Terrors

• Be available and protective.
  
  
• Do not attempt to hold forcibly or restrain child unless essential for security; restraint may intensify outburst.
  
  
• Do not become angry or try to rouse the child by shaking, slapping, yelling, etc.
  
  
• Touch child lightly; if possible, put arm around child or stroke face and arms soothingly.
  
  
• Walk with child if he or she moves about restlessly.
  
  
• Speak softly, calmly, and reassuringly, even if child does not appear to hear. Say such things as "It's all right. Everything's all right. It's all over. I'm here. You're okay now," etc.
  
  
• A warm washcloth gently wiped over the face may help the child recover.
  
  
• Let the child return to sleep as soon as possible.

Realize that there is probably nothing seriously wrong with the child; such attacks are usually symptomatic of an immature nervous system and are typically outgrown.