I found out I was pregnant July 7, 2005. I got to see my “smudge” for the first time on July 20 through ultrasound. “Smudge” had a strong heartbeat and a due date of March 16, 2006. My husband and I were ecstatic.
My pregnancy was fairly smooth. I was not a happy pregnant person and felt like an alien had invaded my body, but I was willing to do anything to have a healthy baby.
At 38 weeks, my midwife stripped my membranes and told me that I might have a little bleeding. I went home and basically nothing happened. I wanted this baby out and I wasn't too happy that it hadn't worked. At 39 weeks, she stripped my membranes again. Again, nothing. Finally at my 40-week appointment my midwife stripped my membranes again and also set an induction date for the next week. At least there was an end in sight.
On March 17, at 4:30 AM, I started having contractions. This had happened before and they had stopped after less than an hour. When these were still coming at 6 AM, I told my husband that he wasn't going to work that day. We spent the day walking the neighborhood, watching TV while I was on an exercise ball, answering the phone that rang constantly, and counting contractions. My plan was to have a natural delivery and I was determined not to go to the hospital only to have them send me back home.
That evening my sister came over and walked the neighborhood with us again. By this time the contractions were getting stronger, but they were still five-to-10 minutes apart. We decided to go to the mall to get dinner and continue walking. I was determined to have this baby.
After two hours of walking at the mall, the contractions were coming strong and were three-to-five minutes apart. We left and called the midwife. She said to wait until I couldn't walk or talk through the contractions and then call her back. When the contractions got worse, we called her back and she told us to meet her at the hospital.
We arrived at the hospital at midnight. The midwife checked me and I was five centimeters dilated and 80 percent effaced, but the baby was still high. She came back at 1:40 AM to check me again and I had not progressed any further so she decided to break my water. That brought the contractions on stronger and faster and I thought I was finally making progress. The midwife mistakenly thought I was getting an epidural and went to bed for a little while. When she came back in at 7 AM, she was surprised that I didn't have the epidural. She checked me again and said I was still at five centimeters. At this point she wanted to start Pitocin and I agreed but only if I could get the epidural first.
It took the anesthesiologist three tries to get the epidural in correctly and Lillie's heart rate would drop every time I lay on my left side. They turned the Pitocin up to high and we thought we were on the way. At 11 AM, I had progressed to seven, and by 1 PM, I was nine centimeters. At 3 PM, I was almost at 10 centimeters and they decided I could try pushing. I pushed for about 20 minutes before they decided she was not coming down even though I was pushing correctly.
At this point they started talking C-section and I just wanted my baby out. We had to wait for an hour to get an open OR because it wasn't an emergency. Lillie was finally born at 5:32 PM on March 18. They determined that she had never tucked her chin and she never would have been born vaginally.
Immediately after they got Lillie out, my epidural was turned off. It is standard procedure. Epidurals normally take an hour to wear off, however, mine was gone within 10 minutes. What followed was the worst pain I have ever been in. I could feel them massaging my uterus and stitching me back up. It took the recovery nurse three shots of morphine to get my pain level below a 10. I was in recovery for two hours. However, getting to see my little girl and nurse her afterward made up for all of the pain. She is my life, my love, my all.