My husband and I tried for six long years to have a child. We started out using the usual temperature charts given by my OB over a period of six months. A semen analysis was done on my husband and he tested normal. When nothing happened, my doctor suggested a (HSG) Hysterosalpingogram. The test showed that my tubes were clear, but that I had what’s called a Bicornate Uterus, a condition in which the uterus is split in two. She immediately referred me to an infertility specialist to review my file.
The consensus after reviewing my temperature charts, was that I was not ovulating. The specialist put me on Clomid, a fertility pill, and I started receiving HCG injections each month to produce eggs. When I addressed the Bicornate Uterus problem, he stated that if I did get pregnant, there was an increased chance of miscarriage because there was not enough room for the baby to grow. There was also a chance of the baby being born premature. He said that if I wasn’t against surgery, there was a procedure called a laparoscopy where they make two small incisions – one into the navel to insert a microscope, and another above the abdomen to insert the laser instrument. He said he would use the laser to burn out the tissues separating my uterus to merge the two parts of my uterus together. He also said they could use the microscope to look for another possibile cause for my inability to ovulate; endometriosis.
My husband and I agreed that we needed to know what the problem was for sure. Then we could deal with it in the best possible way.
The outpatient surgery confirmed that I did indeed have endometriosis, which was part of my infertility problem and the doctor successfully lasered the split uterus with little scar tissue. He assured me that now my chances of becoming pregnant were high. My husband and I were so excited! We were relieved that my problems were solved and it was just a matter of time before I became pregnant!
The specialist continued my HCG shots and Clomid each month and still nothing happened. Every month was such a huge disappointment, especially when I was three to four weeks late and convinced that this time I’d be pregnant.
All my friends were already on their second or third child and each time one of them became pregnant again, I was the last to know. They were scared to call me because they knew what a struggle we were going through and pregnancy seemed to come so easily to them. I kept praying and hoping every day; motherhood seemed like such a pipe dream!
Well, after four long years of the same treatments, switching specialists, going on vacations, buying sport cars, trying to relax, nothing was working. I knew I couldn’t just give up – this was too important to both of us – we had to have a child. My specialist stated that now that my problems had been resolved, I was suffering from “unexplained infertility”, which made me even more frustrated. I continued to see him every month and doing the same tests over and over again. Nothing worked.
It was a year away from my 30th birthday and for some reason it became my goal to at least have a baby by the time I was 30. After five years, we finally decided to investigate other options. Getting pregnant was no longer an issue – we just wanted a baby.
We had always talked about adopting a child someday, but weren’t sure if we’d be able to afford it and didn’t know where to start. The whole process was very intimidating to us and we definitely needed some guidance. A friend of mine at work referred me to someone she knew who had just finalized a successful adoption with a small Christian agency. I called her right away and she shared her whole adoption experience with me, and answered my questions and concerns.
That night, my husband and I talked about it and he was really excited about the idea. The first thing we agreed upon was to close the door on “getting pregnant” and just focus on adoption. It was such a good feeling to put the infertility roller-coaster to a hault.
I had been under so much stress, at that point I just wanted peace of mind. We called the adoption agency first thing in the morning and started the process. I had heard all kinds of adoption horror stories of long waiting lists, getting a child and the birthparents changing their mind, etc. Well, what I learned is that you have to really educate yourself on adoption first before you take action. Talk to everyone who has been through it, read articles and books, attend support group meetings and constantly get the word out that you are interested in adopting. Gain the knowledge you need to successfully adopt.
After working with the agency for exactly one year we got a phone call from our case worker that we’d been chosen by a birthmother to be the adoptive parents for her baby, who was due in two weeks! We were overjoyed!
Our baby boy was born May 26, 1998. He weighed six pounds, seven ounces, and amazingly looked just like my husband and I – fair skin, blonde hair and blue eyes. We decided to name him Samuel, which means “Gift from God”. He had to go into foster care for two weeks before we could bring him home.
The week before we brought him home I was a nervous wreck. I couldn’t sleep, worried that the birth mom would change her mind – I swear I was making myself physically sick with worry! I even told my husband I had an ulcer. Yet everything worked out fine and at two weeks old, we brought little Samuel home. All of our family members were at the house waiting for us when we drove up – they were so anxious to see this special little baby!
Samuel is now six months old and the joy of our lives! He is such a happy, affectionate little baby. Our bond with him was so immediate it was like love at first sight the minute we laid eyes on him.
Well, there is a funny twist to this story. Remember the ulcer I swore I was getting right before we brought Sam home? Well, you guessed it. On our eighth wedding anniversary, a full six years after trying to conceieve, we found out I was finally pregnant! Were we ever shocked! After all the painful tests, HCG shots, artificial inseminations, and our final decision to focus on adoption and refrain from all treatment, boom – a full year later it happened!
Although, I am now seven months pregnant and have this beautiful baby boy to enjoy every day, it still seems like a dream to me. I used to go to bed at night and dream that I was pregnant and when I woke up in the morning and realized it was “only a dream” I would just bury my face in my hands and cry. Now when I wake up every morning to my little boy’s cooing (or screaming) and feel the baby inside me kicking, I know that my dream is now a reality. Our babies will be only eight months apart. We do not know the sex of the baby – we wanted to be surprised, but it really doesn’t matter – boy or girl, it’s just a miracle that we’re expecting at all.
I really feel that we are doubly blessed because we had the joy of experiencing adoption, which was an incredible event for my husband and I; and now I get to experience pregnancy and giving birth to a child.
I never thought this would happen to me. I admit there were times when I wanted to give up and really felt sorry for myself. But no matter what happened, I never lost faith in God. I kept hoping and praying that someday he would answer our prayers.
For all of you still waiting for your dream to be realized, maybe reading my story will give you hope and make you realize that it will happen for you too. I am a firm believer now more than ever, that “God truly does work in mysterious ways”. Don’t ever lose sight of your dream!
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