10 Ways My Baby is Like a Frat Boy
Remember Frat Boys in college? As fun, loyal (to their fraternity brothers, that is) and even smart, as they may have been, stereotypically, they were also seen as having some signature, rowdy traits. Films such as Animal House and Old School, depict Frat Boys as dudes who love to party and drink stuff like Pabst Blue Ribbon. These past 8 months with my baby daughter, I've realized just how much babies can exhibit some of the frat boy tendencies, without the PBR, of course. Sure, I think my baby is a precious, sweet angel, but here are 10 ways my baby is also like a frat boy.
She barfs when she drinks too much.
Drinking is the name of the fraternity game. And my daughter could milk-drink any baby under the table. But when she can’t resist drinking more than her limit, we’d better be ready with the burp cloth. Drinking too much of anything, from Boone’s to breast milk, will lead to a possible projectile situation. Take it easy, Frank the Tank.
She doesn't take things seriously.
You think trying to teach Medieval Literature to a college dude with the “Weekend Kegger” on the mind is difficult? Try teaching a baby to not want to play (with her very serious parents) when it is clearly nap time.
She likes to throw ragers and disturb the peace.
Everyone knows that fraternities love to throw wild parties. My baby is pretty good at disturbing the peace and having her own house parties.
She loves to sleep.
Frat boys need to recover from their all-night parties. My baby needs to recover from crawling, growing, keeping up her adorable baby act, eating and pooping.
She mad dogs me.
The frat boy machismo often leads to some testosterone-filled face-offs with other dudes if for no other reason than to mark territory. My daughter can give a super aggressive stare, and I usually end up backing down…
She loves to hang with her brother.
Fraternity means “brotherhood.” Frat brothers within the same fraternity look out for and are loyal to one another. My baby daughter has just one bro who will do anything for her and is extremely protective of her, and she’s down for him for life.
She has John Belushi hair.
In National Lampoon’s Animal House, a comedy film about a group of misfit fraternity brothers, John Belushi played John “Bluto” Blutarsky, a drunken degenerate in his 7th year of college with a G.P.A. of 0.0.
My baby daughter coincidentally has the “Belushi” hairstyle. And now her nickname will be “Bluto.”
She's making me earn my initiation.
To be welcomed into a fraternity you have to endure the pledging process. You are challenged and tested to determine whether you are worthy of being made a “brother.” I’ve been pledging my baby’s fraternity for the past 8 months going through exercises of loyalty and trust…and endurance. It’s all worth it, though. We’re in it together for life. And, we already have a sweet, secret handshake.
She likes to go streaking.
Whenever she’s free of clothes, my baby daughter gets this look on her face which says, “Let’s go streaking!” (a la Will Ferrell in Old School).
She likes to wear togas.
Togas are the new onesie. Now let’s go eat some Greek Yogurt with mashed bananas.
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