Lessons from Katy and Russell: What if Your Partner Doesn't Want a Baby?
What’s on Russell Brand’s mind lately? Divorce, of course, but he’s also vocal about wanting to start a family.
After filing for divorce from superstar wife Katy Perry, Russell Brand appeared on The Ellen Degeneres Show to talk about, of all things, having kids. “I would like one. I love those little babies in the beginning,” Brand tells Ellen in response to her question about the couple’s plans to start a family.
Having a baby is likely now on indefinite hold for the divorcing pair. But is this the reason why the superstar couple decided to split in the first place? According to these infamous “Hollywood insiders,” funnyman Brand, a reformed drug and sex addict, was ready to settle down with Katy and start a family. But Perry reportedly just wanted to focus on her career.
Sure, the Brand-Perry story is celebrity gossip, but it does raise a serious issue that many non-famous folks can relate to: what happens when one partner wants children, and the other doesn’t?
According to family therapists, the best way to address this issue of whether or not to have kids is to settle long before you walk down the aisle. “I often think of how we take the time to plan a vacation. We decide where we want to go, where to stay, eat, and tour. You wouldn’t jump into the car without any thought and head to a destination. Why would you do that with a marriage? Learn what your partner wants out of life, and what they expect from you and the home you build, before you commit to being together forever,” family therapist Dr. Jane Greer writes on her blog.
If you are married and suddenly realize you aren’t on the same page with having a baby, keep the communication lines open by actively listening to your partner’s views and calmly stating your own. Some couples may find it helpful to investigate counseling options as a way to facilitate more meaningful conversations on the topic.
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