How to Get Pregnant… If You're Too Tired or Busy to Have Sex
Want to get pregnant, but would rather skip the sex part? You're tired. You're busy. Trust us, we get it. Try some of these tips to help you get in the baby-making mood tonight.
Get yourself motivated by simply seeing yourself pregnant. Are you picturing yourself with a gorgeous glow? The once-in-a-lifetime feeling of rubbing that baby in your tummy? Many women, and even more men, find pregnancy itself very sexy.
If you can’t get quite that far yet, consider each sexy session your own personal lottery ticket and ask yourself, “What if?” As in, am I getting pregnant right now? It’s actually quite an aphrodisiac to consider whether tonight’s Moment of Truth is producing your new baby. (Something you can thank Mother Nature for. She’s always got her eye on that survival of the species stuff.)
If visualizing your goal doesn’t work, skip to fantasizing. We’re assuming that you’re attracted to your mate and everything, but what if Johnny Depp were to ask you out? Would your mojo suddenly make a comeback? We think so. But it’s more likely that he’ll show up in your mind than your bedroom, and that’ll still work. Really. It’s been reported that up to 77 percent of women have fantasized while having sex with their partner. Not every time, but sometimes!
Regular workouts make you feel good because there’s literally a chemical change in your body with the release of endorphins—the very same hormones that make an orgasm feel so good. Plus your body image will improve, not to mention stamina. Yes, stamina. And it doesn’t have to be a super session; even a brisk walk for 20 minutes a few times a week can do the trick. Especially if you add headphones. Music, plus fresh air, and cardio movement is the holy trinity of endorphin-producing activity. The only thing that can top it is, well, sex … but we’re working on that.
Suck it up, suck it in.
Can you say hot date night? For a lot of us, sexy nights start with the same thing: Spanx®. Pull and tug your way into these wonder panties in order to squeeze into something sort of special for the night ahead. You’ve heard it before: sometimes you have to fake it ‘til you make it and when it comes to feeling sexy, this certainly applies. (Note: We’re pretty sure your partner already thinks you’re a hot ticket so you’re halfway there.) So get dressed. Do your hair. Make reservations. Go dancing. And by all means, drink wine. Drink. Wine. Repeat.
Don't worry, be happy.
Here’s the thing: If you’re down, you won’t feel good about yourself or your partner, and certainly not about being close to your partner. To get over this hump, so to speak, find little ways to be grateful during the day. Then laugh. Find funny movies, books, and YouTube videos. Dance. Turn up the radio and see what moves you’ve got. (And if what you’ve got is embarrassingly bad? Who cares?) Joke with friends. And above all, joke with your partner.
Give them a squeeze.
Do Kegels. You know what these are—squeezing those special muscles way inside. (To find them, try holding your urine stream on your next trip to the potty.) Here’s why: Those muscles, called PC muscles, are responsible for your physical pleasure during sex. The vagina is nice and everything but actually not very sensitive. It’s the nerve endings all along the PC muscles that respond to stimulus—and ultimately help achieve the Big O. In fact, loose PC muscles can make sex lackluster or even painful.
To elongate this miracle tube of nerve endings, achieving its best shape, simply squeeze several times a day. Start with three sets of 10, twice a day. Work your way up to more advanced moves like holding for a count of five before releasing. When you’re able to hit 100 in a single day, your chances of having a hot night will increase exponentially.
Tell him what you want.
Whether you need to have a conversation with your guy about life inside the bedroom (“Here, not there. Yes, there.”) now is the time. Part of intimacy is being close. If you’re not getting much pleasure from sex or worse, you’re in a relationship rut, it’s no wonder that your libido is running low these days. Do whatever it takes to explain your physical needs to him but experts suggest doing this on neutral ground (outside the bedroom.). Have a glass of wine together and suggest talking each other through your favorite moves of all time. That’s a good place to start.
Make regular dates—and get cuddly.
Some experts suggest making time for intimacy the same way you would a workout—put it on the calendar. If you’re going to bust out of a bad routine, you’ve got to make it a priority and nothing says “get it done” like an invite in Outlook. Besides, if this is your first baby-to-be, you don’t even have to bother with a babysitter. Just choose a regular date night then pick your favorite restaurants, skating rinks, bowling alleys, dance classes, and whatever else it takes. Aim for fun. If you’re laughing together, the chances of being naked together increase dramatically.
Evaluate the relationship.
If the relationship is on the rocks, you know what you need to do. Get help. It’s out there and as every parent can tell you, relationships aren’t likely to improve on their own after a baby arrives and starts robbing you both of sleep every night. (Yes, you get up every night for months. Not exactly a recipe for happy, healthy adults, not to mention a marriage.) Your best bet is to nudge things in the right direction now.
You're not alone, sister...
If you’re wondering, how did I get here anyway? You’re not alone. Many women say they were fairly frisky in their bar-hopping, just-out-of-college days but at this point they’d prefer a pint of Ben and Jerry’s to a pint of beer (and all that often comes with it), any night.
As it turns out, low sex drive is so common that one study cites an average of 40 percent of the entire female population complaining of low libido (compared with 30 percent of men) at any given time. And according to the Mayo Clinic there are dozens of factors that could lower a girl’s libido: tension in the relationship, inability to orgasm, fatigue, medications, stress, weight gain, depression, and, “poor communication of sexual needs and preferences.” To address the later, perhaps a Power Point presentation is in order. And a laser pointer.
Definitely a laser pointer.
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