How to Take Charge of Your Fertility (Without Your Husband Knowing)
Tips on how to take charge of your fertility without involving your husband.
When my husband and I decided to start trying to have our first baby, I did what many women planning to have a child do. I ran to the Internet to find all the things you needed to know about conceiving. At the ripe age of 29, I first realized what fertility was all about, and how important being in tune with your cycle was. It was a huge learning curve for me. But you want to know who could care less about all this medical mumbo jumbo? My husband.
The more I talked about my cycle and the few days a month which were prime time to conceive, the less interested he was in trying. I took the fun out of it. Not to mention, if most men are like my husband, they could care less about what’s going on with your cycle. They tune you out the minute you bring up how many days your cycle is and which dates the egg will activate to meet incoming sperm.
What this resulted in with our first pregnancy was not getting pregnant right away. I put too much stress on the whole situation, and frankly, nobody was in the mood to get the job done. When your husband tells you he doesn’t want to know the details, trust him and stop talking.
The fact of the matter is, though, that to heighten your chances of getting pregnant, being in tune with your fertility is key to getting pregnant. So when we decided to try for baby number 2, I was determined to take charge, without my husband even knowing. Here is how I successfully got us expecting baby number 2 in our first month of trying without my husband knowing too many of the details.
- Got my Mirena removed: All my husband knows about Mirena is that it’s a form of birth control that doesn’t make me have to remember to take a pill. Do you think he wants to know all about getting it removed and why you have to wait for your period to return before we can start trying? Nope. I briefly mentioned it to him, and he just wanted me to tell him when it was time.
- Fertility Friend: With my first pregnancy, I used online calendars to predict when I would ovulate. This time around I decided to give charting with Fertility Friend a try to let me know signs of ovulation, and to know how long after possible conception I could test. I was able to discretely chart my temp using Fertility Friend’s app on my phone.
- Basal Thermometer: Utilizing a basal thermometer is needed to chart with Fertility Friend. Again, my husband could care less what this fancy shmancy thermometer could do. So I hid my thermometer under my pillow and was grateful that my body mostly woke me up at the same time each morning. I took my temperature with most of the thermometer under my pillow as to avoid waking my husband up with the beeping that it was done. It worked except for the one Saturday morning he thought I accidentally set my alarm. I just went with it.
- Have Sex Often: Even on the days I knew wasn’t possible to get pregnant, and even after ovulation occurred, we had sex. This helped to spice up our relationship, and kept baby making fun. Simple as that.
- Days Past Ovulation (DPO): Using Fertility Friend helped me to know how many days after conception I’d be able to test, since you need a minimum of 11 days after ovulation to turn a pregnancy test positive. My husband understood that you’d test if your period was late, but I didn’t fill him in on this what DPO was and how long it takes for an egg to implant and raise your hCG levels to show up on a pregnancy test. In fact, I never told him I was buying a pregnancy test. When I knew I could test, I did, and we saw we were expecting about 4 days before my missed period.
I want to say, though, that for my husband and I, we are blessed that we’ve been easily able to get pregnant with both of our children. These tips aren’t always ideal for everyone, especially those suffering with infertility, where both partners need to be very in tune with fertility and understanding how it works. But as you are starting out trying to have your first baby, the key is to relax and have fun, well at least let your husband think you are relaxed about it all!
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