Friendships after Infertility

Did you reach out to your friends during your fertility struggles, or retreat and become a total recluse? How you went about managing your social life during your darkest days may influence who your best buddies will be as you enter parenthood.

If you are the type of person who talks openly and often about all aspects of your life, you probably wore your heart on your sleeve pre-kid. Many of your friends may have known month-by-month (or day-by-day) what you were experiencing, and followed your cycles right along with you like watching a real-life soap opera. They sent cards and candy after each failed attempt, and backed you 100 percent when you vowed to try again.

If a friend had gone through infertility herself, she may have been extra tuned in to your needs, and perfectly understanding about your moods. She didn't require a lengthy explanation of each procedure; she didn't judge you on the ethics of your choices. If she was green about what is involved in treatments, though, you grew to dread her looks of pity, especially if she was busy managing a crew of kids herself.

In either case, your friendships either grew stronger, or eventually your woes wore out their welcome. Infertility served as a litmus test, and filtered out the true friends from the flakes. You emerged from the experience knowing who will stand by you and now help you become the best parent you can be.