The Emotional Side
Deciding to pursue pregnancy through the use of donor sperm can be very difficult. A couple should never rush this decision. They must first recover from the shock of learning that this may be their only alternative for achieving a pregnancy. They must evaluate the feelings that this generates in each of them, feelings that may include anger, depression, guilt, and shame. They must evaluate their relationship, their parenting desires, their motivation in proceeding with donor inseminations, and their alternatives such as adoption or child-free living.
Often, discussing these issues with a professional trained in this area is well worthwhile. In fact, in our practice we require that every couple who is considering the use of donor sperm or donor eggs meet and consult with such an individual before we will proceed. Each partner and each couple must be comfortable with the use of donor gametes before proceeding.
With proper consideration and evaluation before initiating donor inseminations, I have never met a couple who have regretted their decision. When they become pregnant, they are pregnant together, and they can deliver that child together. They have a child whom they can raise from birth (and take good care of during the pregnancy). They don't have to worry about the uncertainty of adoption.