Ovulation Makes You Love Your Husband More -- Or Even Less
A new report suggests that on high-fertility days, women's feelings toward partners see subtle shifts
It’s pretty common knowledge that you usually feel your friskiest when you’re ovulating, thus boosting your chances of conceiving on those days considerably. (And if you’re TTC right now, pay attention to those pangs!) But a new report from the University of California, Los Angeles takes it even further, suggesting that, “on high-fertility days, women who considered their partners less sexually desirable felt less close to them and were more critical of their faults. Women with more sexually desirable partners, on the other hand, felt more satisfied with their relationship and closer to their partner on high-fertility days.” Ovulation, as it turns out, amplifies the good and the bad. But you might have already known that, too.
What I love about studies like this though is how they point out our primal qualities. These findings match up with the proven idea that women are always of two minds when selecting a mate, finding someone with “high fitness genes” (a.k.a. hot guys who aren’t the most reliable) and a committed father who will help out day after day. And it’s this combination of personality traits in husbands that causes their wives’ feelings toward them to fluctuate in tandem with their hormones all month long.
These kinds of studies make me feel less crazy and maybe even a little better at being married. There are times when my husband will say to me, “Wait, why does what I just said bother you now when you usually laugh at this kind of thing?” Maybe it’s because what he said didn’t hit the right notes to get an honest chuckle (cough, cough), but now there’s another issue at play, too. Maybe today’s one of those days when my hormones aren’t matching up with the personality traits that happen to be ruling his roost at the moment. A temporary mismatch. Doesn’t this open up a whole new world of Mars v. Venus thinking?
The findings surprise me though. I would’ve guessed that it’s more important to be with a steady guy in the long run. Isn’t that the advice you started hearing with your first crush on the cool guy who drove a souped up Camero? But apparently if you want to feel close to your man, and a lot less harpy, it’s important to have a hefty dose of hum-a-na, hum-a-na, too.
Marriage isn’t always easy and raising kids certainly doesn’t simplify things. I know people often say, “Marry someone you can talk to.” Or, “marry your best friend.” But for me, that’s where girlfriends come in. Even through international moves, I’ve been blessed to find friends who speak my language, and it never matters whether we’re ovulating. My husband is my partner for sure. He’s the tax-doer, the preschool drop-off guy, reader of bedtime stories and our on-site handyman, but there’s something so essential about him that I will always find attractive. Irresistible really. Well, usually (see hitting the right notes above). Apparently that’s even more valuable than I ever knew.
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