The Surrogacy Experience: Taking the Leap (Part 1 of 3)

Eleanor Nicoll of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine says, "It is a generous thing to act as a surrogate for another, whether the carrier is a friend, family member, or a stranger who doesn't remain a stranger for long. There is usually compensation, but it is a voluntary and generous act."

The Russells' gut feeling about the first woman was an indication that the relationship would not have worked.

Tracy Huffman, assistant to a surrogate mother coordinator for the Center for Surrogate Parenting and herself a five-time surrogate, asserts that the relationship between a surrogate and the intended parents is the single most important thing to consider. Trust and honesty are vital, she says.

A contract that all parties agree to cements the arrangement, ensuring that everyone understands their responsibilities and rights before the pregnancy, during gestation, and after the baby is born.

Brisman explains that her clients sign their contracts with carriers at the very beginning of the process. "It's vital to contact an attorney who is knowledgeable in reproductive law who practices in the state where the carrier will deliver," she adds.

Laws vary from state to state, for example Kelly lives in New York, where surrogacy contracts are null and void in court. That's why she was looking for a surrogate who lived out of state, preferably one with surrogacy-friendly statutes on the books. (Attorney Brisman says that Pennsylvania and Massachusetts have strong histories of supporting surrogacy, whereas in New Jersey intended parents can't compensate carriers.)