Best-Laid Plans: I Don't Think I'm Done Having Kids
To Maternity… and Beyond! Mom of two Chelsea Day has always wanted four kids, but if she wants to get there she's gonna have to get busy.
How long we’ve been trying: 232 days
Number of pregnancy tests to date: 21
How many times we’ve had sex: 57 (we have two kids already, it’s a little difficult to squeeze in)
The strategy: Try, try again
My plan has always been to have four kids, back-to-back. My grandmother had four children and I used to flip through their memory books, amazed at the closeness they all shared. I loved my aunts and uncles and the busy gatherings we shared, and I wanted the same thing for my own family.
Fast-forward to today: I have a toddler and a 1-year-old. Eighteen months apart, which I think is the absolute perfect spacing. My body had nine months to heal in between (if it takes nine months to pop a baby out, I figure it takes at least that long to get over the experience) and the boys are far enough apart in age that they aren’t stepping all over each other’s achievements.
If I’m able to have a couple more at this rate, the kids can be on their way in time for me to retire while I’m still sort of young. I’ll visit their colleges. I’ll cheer at their sports games, teach them about raising kids of their own, help foster their careers. I’ve had it all planned out as long as I can remember, inspired by my grandparents. I’m excited about more than just having babies. I’m excited about a life-long series of adventures with my family.
That is, if I’m able to keep going at this pace. I knew that it might take awhile to get pregnant with a third. We started trying to have the second pretty quickly after the first, and went in again with the intention of having a third one as close in age as possible to the second. Go big or go home, I say, and I wanted to get this show on the road! I’ve always been a planner, something of a perfectionist, and tend to spazz out a wee bit when things don’t go according to plan.
And nothing in the world screws with your plans the way children do.
So here we are. Past the point at which my children would be evenly spaced. Well past. If I were to get pregnant today, the gap between my second and third children would be 22 months. Still reasonable, and I certainly shouldn’t complain when I have two beautiful children. But again, I’m a planner. This isn’t what I planned. I look towards the future and I wonder: what if I’m not able to have any more? What if that additional bedroom is destined to be a study? What if my boys never get a sister?
What if my plans just aren’t what’s in store for me?
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