I Had a Meltdown at the Oral Surgeon
To Maternity… and Beyond! Chelsea Day's emotions are running high...and she took it out on the oral surgeon.
How long we’ve been trying: 239 days
Number of pregnancy tests to date: 23
How many times we’ve had sex: 63
The strategy: Express myself
When you’re trying to get pregnant, sometimes it feels like the whole world is against you. Best friends will try to drag you out to bars to reminisce about the pre-baby glory days that’ll be left in your diaper-filled dust. There’s always a family member or two “tsk tsk”-ing over the financial ramifications of a growing family. Bosses pile on more and more work in what seems to be a well-orchestrated attempt to chain you to your desk during peak procreation days.
It’s like that Trojan War movie. Will Friedle is this close to having sex with Marley Shelton only to find that he’s stuck in a town without condoms. In my backwards baby-having real-life version, though, everyone is chucking condoms at my head. The odds are stacked against my pregnancy and it feels like everyone I know is doing their very best to keep my fertility under wraps.
I was at the oral surgeon the other day when I realized just how upset I am about the difficulty of this whole baby-having endeavor. The doctor was supposed to be performing an awful surgery for the second time because he botched it the first. Don’t even get me started.
He sheepishly came in to explain that his assistant messed up his calendar so he said he’d have to postpone. Again.
And that is the precise moment that the goddess of fertility took over my body and released her almighty wrath.
“Are. You. KIDDING. Me? You know I’m trying to have a baby?? You can’t take valium and have major surgeries like this when you’re trying to conceive. I postponed my entire baby-having thing and life plan for you and you’re telling me I have to put off having unprotected sex with my husband for yet another month?!”
Epic. Don’t get in the way of my baby-having or so help me. I may have gone on to threaten litigation on behalf of my barren uterus. Not my finest moment. I could probably use some of that valium right about now.
We’ve been trying for over six months. I’m getting a little touchy about the whole thing.
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