Off to a Good Start
There are many things you can do to help your child develop a sense of independence and get the hang of dressing himself (without your help). First of all, establish some basic ground rules. In general, the fewer rules you make, the more reasonable your child will be, and the less likely you are to be met with defiance. Color choices should not be as high on your list as wearing a winter coat when it's 10 degrees outside. That said, if you decide that wearing the same pair of underwear two days in a row is unacceptable, then make this rule clear to your child.
The next step is to set up your child's room so that she has easy access to the clothes she can choose from, and then let her do the choosing. For example, put socks and underwear in a lower drawer in the dresser, consider installing a low clothing bar in the closet, or simply put together matching outfits ahead of time. If you don't want her to wear polka dots and stripes, don't offer that combination as a possible choice. Then let your burgeoning fashionista exert her independence and make her own choices.