Are You Disciplining in Anger?
Are You a Shouter?
Hierlmaier-Nelson says that one common stress reaction is what she calls “Old Yeller.” “Old Yeller is someone who vents stress through her vocal cords. If you notice your voice rising or getting louder, or if you voice your complaints—whether anyone is listening or not—you are likely an Old Yeller,” she says.
Why Shouting Doesn’t Work: Lori Nixon, a Turnersville, New Jersey, mother of two experienced firsthand why yelling proves futile. “Fights break out between my boys all day long over games or TV or who is touching who, and I really try to remain calm. Then one more small thing happens and I just start shouting over everything that has happened throughout the day. They put their hands over their ears or just tune me out, and I end up frazzled with my voice hurting,” she says.
What You Can Do: If you find yourself shouting before giving any rational discipline a chance, try this: “Focus on keeping your voice calm with others—even if you first have to go outside and scream for a while to get it out,” Hierlmaier-Nelson says, “And choose your words to communicate feelings and expectations rather than name-calling or complaining.”
YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN