Q&A: How do I comfort my toddler after a tantrum?

by Dr. Karen Sadler

My daughter is 18 months old, and I am wondering how to deal with her tantrums. She does the usual throwing herself on the ground, kicking, and screaming. I ignore this like you're supposed to, but then she will get up and come to me, crying, wanting to be held and comforted. So, I pick her up and she calms down. Am I rewarding the tantrum? I feel like I'd be doing damage by denying her when she's asking to be comforted.

You are doing the right thing. The point of ignoring the tantrums is not to encourage misbehavior with your attention. When the tantrum has subsided, it is OK to give her back your affection. You may not want to make a huge deal out of comforting her, though, so as not to reinforce the whole pattern. Give her a firm hug, ask her if she is all done crying, and try to get on with the next activity as matter-of-factly as possible. You might also try literaly turning your back on her tantrums if you are not doing so already.

Sign Up for Our Newsletters
Follow Us
from beyond babyzone:
Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Your Facebook name, profile photo and other personal information you make public on Facebook (e.g., school, work, current city, age) will appear with your comment. Comments, together with personal information accompanying them, may be used on BabyZone.com and other Disney media platforms. Learn More.
Real-mom dispatches from the Baby Zone
watch more videos
BabyZone Community
Look Who's Talking...
in BabyZone Community
X

more in BabyZone

10 Excitingly Exotic Baby Names
10 Excitingly Exotic Baby Names
read more >