Nightmares and What to Do about Them

Description: Child reports being confronted with overwhelming water, such as a flood, torrential rain, or a tidal wave. Child may say that he or she or some other dream character is drowning.

Frequency: Rare. Very few children have this dream; those who do may have it often. This nightmare may be an indicator of serious emotional turmoil. Adults have this dream more often than children.

Usual meanings: "I feel overwhelmed"; "I give up"; "Things are too much at the moment." In some cases, this nightmare is based on an experience of near drowning, or knowing someone who had such an experience. It may also occur in certain physical conditions when the body accumulates water. Heart patients and people with other conditions prone to edema could regard this dream as an indication of excess fluid in the body, and should seek assistance accordingly.

First Aid

1. Describe the dream.

• Tell me about it.
  
• What happened?
  
• What happened next?
  
• What did you do?
  
• How did the dream end?

2. Reflect the child's feelings.
If child has spontaneously mentioned his or her emotions while describing the dream, reflect them. If not, elicit them. Comment as appropriate.

• How did you feel?
  
• What was the worse part?
  
• Did you feel differently when…(a change occurred in the dream)?
  
• You felt overwhelmed.
  
• You felt nothing could be done.
  
• You felt helpless.
  
• You felt scared.
  
• The worst part was…(when you saw the tidal wave looming above you, when you were covered by water, when you realized you would drown, and so forth).

3. Express reassurance.

• Once in a while people have dreams like this.
  
• I'm sure you're glad it didn't happen in waking life.
  
• Most people don't know that it's possible to change that frightening dream.
  
• (If based on experience of someone know to the child) Sounds as if you are remembering when…(such and such happened to so and so).
  
• (If based on child's experience choking in water or being thrown into deep water) Maybe you are remembering when (such and such) happened to you. We can't change what happened, but you can change your dream.

4. Align allies; take action.

• In dreams, you can make things different.
  

• You don't have to let the dream end like that.
  
• Suppose there really was …(a tidal wave, a flood). What could you do? (Get a rowboat, use a board to float upon, climb a tree, get on top of the roof, and so forth.)
  
• Who could help you? (A rescue team in a helicopter, the Red Cross, a lifeguard, and so on.)
  
• You can get the same help in your dream.
  
• People even have special powers in dreams, like magic.
  
• If you could have anyone you want—and you can in a dream—who would you get to help you?
  
• Who is strong?
  
• What else could you do? (Fly away, get a scuba mask, climb in a submarine and get away, pretend to be Noah, meet Neptune).
  
• Here's a special trick. In dreams, and only in dreams, it is possible to breathe underwater. Did you know that?
  
• If you ever have that bad dream again, make it different, make it better.

Sample Solutions
One woman who used to have dreams of being overwhelmed by tidal waves, discovered that in her dreams she could breathe underwater. Elated, she taught her small daughter underwater breathing in the dream.

A twelve-year-old girl remembers her favorite dream was an underwater adventure where she went down into the sea on a turtle. They went to a palace where she met the queen, and another turtle who told the child her name and let her inside his shell. "It was beautiful!" she said.

5. Make a drawing or some other creative product from the dream.

• That was a wonderful idea you had about how to cope with the tidal wave/flood/rainstorm in your dream.
  
• Please draw me a picture of it.
  
• Now show how the dream would look when you change it for the better.
  
• Could you make up a poem or story about the dream?

Some of your child's dreams, even the worst nightmares, make charming drawings, the basis for a fantasy tale or a play. Deriving creative products from their dreams helps children develop their imagination in constructive ways. Be sure to give any dream products your child makes a prominent display.

6. Seek a long term solution.
Provide information, as needed
If your child has a waking fear of water, swimming lessons with an understanding teacher can help. Water games in shallow water may be useful. You need to exercise care in overcoming traumatic experience with water. If the child has had an episode of near drowning, professional care may be desirable.

If you live in an area where there is ongoing danger of flooding or tidal waves, discuss with your child practical ways to deal with the danger (When you hear the siren, do such and such; You know we have plenty of emergency supplies in case that happens.)

Find out how lifeguards save people
If not already familiar with these techniques, investigate life saving procedures in water. The Boy Scout manual has a good summary. Learn how to restore breathing when a person has swallowed water. Teach these to the child if old enough, and explain how standard life saving ideas can be used in dreams, as well as while awake.

If your child has a physical condition that creates edema (water retention), dreams about excessive flooding and so forth may indicate a worsening of the condition. Consult your physician. Regardless of physical condition, it's good to teach your child to actively overcome the water in his or her dream.

Provide models of water adventures
Reading your child stories of adventures in water, such as 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea; Robinson Crusoe; Swiss Family Robinson, and so forth, may convey a more positive approach to water. Include models of success in coping with storms, floods, and tidal waves. The story of Noah's Ark is classic.

Provide relevant toys
Boats and other sorts of water toys help a child practice coping with this or her fear of water during play.

Remember that your purpose is to empower your child to take action and succeed in a dream. This success helps the child not only to cope with nightmares, but also teaches lessons in daily living. Children learn that what they do makes a difference, that they have many options when faced with a problem, and that their imagination can help them solve it. They learn new ways of looking at frightening situations, and how to turn these into something worthwhile. The drawing or poem or story that is produced is not so important in itself, as is the child's realization that he or she has the power to make life better.