A Business Card Fit for Moms, Inspired by Chen Guangbiao
Just like the Chinese tycoon, moms everywhere should print up business cards listing our flashy titles
If moms had business cards, what would they say? I had some trouble coming up with the answer to that question… until I was inspired by one Chen Guangbiao.
Haven’t heard of him? He’s among China’s richest people and he’s made headlines recently by announcing he’d like to buy the New York Times. But he’s also now famous for another reason: his awesomely audacious business card.
If you haven’t seen it, just know that it boasts so many superlatives it makes Donald Trump look modest.
But why should he have all the fun? I think moms everywhere could print up their own business cards with just as much swagger, if not more. With Chen’s card as my model, here are the distinctions my business card would include:
- Third Most Influential Person in My House (After Kid 1 and Kid 2 But Definitely Before Husband)
- Most Prominent Philanthropist of Lollipops
- Moral Leader of “Don’t Make Me Count to 3″ Discipline
- Heroic Rescuer of Legos Accidentally Dropped in Toilet
- Most Well-Known and Frequently Pinched Role Model for My Children
- Top Ten Most Honorable Volunteer to Eat Cold Leftovers
- Most Charismatic Sweeper of Cheerios
- Top Advocate for Lower Whine Emissions
- America’s Foremost Expert on Little Boys Nicknamed Saucer Eyes and Scrunchy Face
I think that about sums it up. What would your business card say?
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