50 Ways to Know You're Adjusted to Life with Baby
AKA, I'm finally brushing my teeth again!
29. Your laundry room no longer resembles a missile testing site.
30. When people see you, they think it actually is you, as opposed to one of the walking dead.
31. Comments from those you run into have changed from “Boy, you could really use some rest” to “You know, you don’t look so terrible.”
32. Your mother calls once a day to check in instead of three times a day.
33. You’re 10 percent certain you know the location of your car keys, purse, and cell phone.
34. You had time to assemble an outfit this morning that comes pretty darn close to matching.
35. The crossword sitting on your bedside table is now more than half done. True, it’s from three months ago, but you’re getting closer.
36. You realize you actually watched an entire Grey’s Anatomy rerun uninterrupted, not counting commercials—and you even enjoyed those.
37. The visual hallucinations caused by those first few months of sleep deprivation have now settled into much more manageable garden-variety exhaustion.
38. When you catch your reflection coming out of the shower, you actually resemble a human more than a zombie.
39. You’ve started to speak in multiple syllables again, and complex sentences might be right around the corner.
40. At the grocery store, you’re starting to become reacquainted with items outside the “Baby Needs” aisle, such as bread, milk, cheese, and deodorant.
41. People have stopped ending every conversation with you by saying, “There’s light at the end of the tunnel.”
42. Instead of falling asleep without a word to your partner, nowadays you can manage to murmur, “I love…” before nodding off.
43. You can tell morning from night with almost no problem at all.
44. You’ve started talking to people in a normal voice again instead of greeting them by saying, “Hewo, how’s da widdle snookums?”
45. If you count all the different bits and pieces of news you’ve read over the past few months, it amounts to almost an entire newspaper.
46. Every now and then, you’re able to snatch a few hours of sleep without lying awake wondering whether the baby is OK.
47. It has been weeks since you fell asleep in the middle of a conversation.
48. Besides your mother, people have stopped bringing you meals.
49. When you drift off while playing blocks, the baby barely notices.
50. You’re starting to think about another baby.
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