Can You Sleep Your Way to Conception?
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WHAM| Desperate Distractions | Wonderful Wisecracks | Perfectly Polite | |
| Biracial Children | |||
| He doesn't look like you. | Haiku? Yes, I love Japanese poetry. | I know, he looks more like the mailman every day! | He looks like his father. |
| Is she adopted? | No I wasn't. How about you? | Were you raised by wolves or have you always been so clueless? | No, my husband is Chinese. |
| What is their father? | Now where did I put my keys? | An attorney. | He's African American. |
| Are you the children's nanny? | You're right, it's uncanny how rude some people are. | Yes, I just don't get paid. | No, I'm their mother. |
| Is she yours? | I can't remember, is this a Leap Year? | No, they're giving them away at the bank when you open an account. | Yep, all mine! |
| Are they mixed? | I'm a florist, what did you say you did? | Yes, they're a little bit of me and a little bit of their father. | Yes, they're half Filipino, a quarter Irish and a quarter German. |
| Multiples | |||
| Did you use fertility drugs? | I would love a hug, thank you! | No, I'm just extremely efficient. | Yes, and we were doubly blessed! |
| Oh my God! How do you handle three kids at once? | Did you say you could baby-sit this weekend? Thanks! | With a whip and a chair. | It's a labor of love. |
| Stepchildren | |||
| She doesn't look like you. | But she's so pretty, isn't she? | I've always suspected she was swapped in the hospital, but it's too late to tell her now, right? | She resembles her father. |
| Why do they live with you? | Is that a spider on your arm? | Because the circus wouldn't take them. | The school system here is better. |
| Your son is 12? You must have been a young mom. | Mmm...What's your daughter studying in school right now? | And you must be extremely forward. | Actually, Conner is my stepson. |
| Your daughter is 10? I hope I look that good when I'm your age! | So how's your job going? | We all hope so, dear. | Thank you. |
| Only Children | |||
| When is Jacob going to get a baby brother? | Where are you guys going on vacation this year? | As soon as you get some manners. | He's not. We only want one child. |
| Why would you only want one child? | Are those new shoes? | The dog is jealous enough as it is. | It's a family decision that seems right for us. |
| Don't you think Hannah will be lonely without a sister or brother? | Pardon me; I think my cell phone is ringing. | No, the voices in her head seem to keep her company. | She has lots of friends and classmates. |
| Is something wrong that you can't have any more? | Is your son eating dirt over there? Oh no, my mistake. | We lost the directions and can't figure out how! | No, it's simply a family decision. |
| Watch out, it's easy to spoil only children. | Is is hot in here? | Is that what happened to you? | We'll keep that in mind. |
The Art of the Comeback
by Deborah Bohn