The Art of the Comeback
Great responses to common pregnancy and parenting questions
|He doesn’t look like you.||Haiku? Yes, I love Japanese poetry.||I know, he looks more like the mailman every
|He looks like his father.|
|Is she adopted?||No I wasn’t. How about you?||Were you raised by wolves or have you always
been so clueless?
|No, my husband is Chinese.|
|What is their father?||Now where did I put my keys?||An attorney.||He’s African American.|
|Are you the children’s
|You’re right, it’s uncanny how rude some
|Yes, I just don’t get paid.||No, I’m their mother.|
|Is she yours?||I can’t remember, is this a Leap Year?||No, they’re giving them away at the bank
when you open an account.
|Yep, all mine!|
|Are they mixed?||I’m a florist, what did you say you did?||Yes, they’re a little bit of me and a little
bit of their father.
|Yes, they’re half Filipino, a quarter Irish
and a quarter German.
|Did you use fertility
|I would love a hug, thank you!||No, I’m just extremely efficient.||Yes, and we were doubly blessed!|
|Oh my God! How do you
handle three kids at once?
|Did you say you could baby-sit this weekend?
|With a whip and a chair.||It’s a labor of love.|
|She doesn’t look like you.||But she’s so pretty, isn’t she?||I’ve always suspected she was swapped in the
hospital, but it’s too late to tell her now, right?
|She resembles her father.|
|Why do they live with you?||Is that a spider on your arm?||Because the circus wouldn’t take them.||The school system here is better.|
|Your son is 12? You must
have been a young mom.
|Mmm…What’s your daughter studying in
school right now?
|And you must be extremely forward.||Actually, Conner is my stepson.|
|Your daughter is 10? I
hope I look that good when I’m your age!
|So how’s your job going?||We all hope so, dear.||Thank you.|
|When is Jacob going to get
a baby brother?
|Where are you guys going on vacation this
|As soon as you get some manners.||He’s not. We only want one child.|
|Why would you only want
|Are those new shoes?||The dog is jealous enough as it is.||It’s a family decision that seems right for
|Don’t you think Hannah
will be lonely without a sister or brother?
|Pardon me; I think my cell phone is ringing.||No, the voices in her head seem to keep her
|She has lots of friends and classmates.|
|Is something wrong that
you can’t have any more?
|Is your son eating dirt over there? Oh no,
|We lost the directions and can’t figure out
|No, it’s simply a family decision.|
|Watch out, it’s easy to
spoil only children.
|Is is hot in here?||Is that what happened to you?||We’ll keep that in mind.|
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