Setting the Stage
Ready to rev up your sex life? The following are some fun tips for getting in the mood for love:
Get yourself some new PJs. What you sleep in sends a message to your mate, and flannel does not say, "I'm in the mood for love!" You don't have to wear an ultra-sexy (read: uncomfortable) negligee either. Sometimes a tank top or strategically tight t-shirt can be just as effective. "Wear anything that makes you feel cute," says Craker.
Give compliments. Saying something nice to your spouse will make you feel closer to one another.
Get creative. Many moms find that they are simply too tired to enjoy sex at bedtime. Try it in the morning before your kids wake up—or "nap" when your children nap.
Catch him off-guard. At dinner one evening, whisper sweet nothings over the mashed potatoes. Your husband won't be able to get the kids to bed fast enough!
Have a slumber party. Actually, have two. Set the kids up with a movie, snacks, and their blankets and pillows. When everyone is comfy, you and your husband go to another part of the house for your own time together.
Don't be afraid to take drastic measures. A friend once confided in me that she and her husband got so desperate for sex that they put on a kids' DVD, handed each of their four children a fruit roll-up, and then ran upstairs for a quickie. Well, if that's what it takes...
Try something new. "Novelty can be a real turn-on," says Craker. Try a different restaurant or splurge on a new outfit. Just get out of your usual routine.
Plan an at-home date. While one spouse is putting the kids to bed, the other can pick up take-out. You may eat dinner late, but if you can enjoy a meal without having to shout over the kids, isn't it a good trade?
Hire a babysitter. Indulge in a night out or spend the night in and escape to your own room for a movie, dinner in bed, and some serious cuddling, while your babysitter tends to the kids downstairs.
Surprise! After the kids have been put to bed and your husband is picking up toys, surprise him by dressing up in your best outfit and invite him upstairs for desert and drinks. Or on the sly, arrange for your children to spend the night with grandparents or friends and enjoy a date with your husband; make dinner reservations or pick up his favorite take-out, quick change into a fun and flashy outfit on your way home from work, and treat him to a surprise night out (or in!).
Maintaining a passionate sex life while raising young children can be a real challenge, but the benefits are definitely worth the effort. You may feel selfish taking time away from your kids to reconnect with your husband, but keeping your marriage healthy is one of the most loving things you can do for your family.