Are You a Shy Mom? Learn to Shed Your Shell
Go to School
Shy moms can also get involved in their child’s school as a way to meet others. “Volunteering to help out on a committee gives you immediate reasons to interact with other moms, and a way to get to know them,” said mother of three, Amy Garvey, of Yardley, Pennsylvania.
Other Places to Meet Moms
Don’t forget to look for potential mommy friends at pediatrician’s office, churches, libraries, bookstores, coffee shops, toy stores, children’s clothing stores, parks, and playgrounds.
Dr. Leah R. Jackman-Wheitner, psychologist, life coach with Life Design Concepts, and author of the upcoming book 5 Steps to Greater Confidence, says she was an incredibly shy child. “I wanted to have a lot of friends, but didn’t know how to get friends or talk to people,” said Jackman-Wheitner. “Over time, I learned to act friendly and made friends.”
Three Empowering Tips for Shy Moms
Jackman-Wheitner, who is also a mother of two daughters, offers a few suggestions on how to overcome shyness and be comfortable in new situations:
- If you are shy, don’t change your personality—change your mindset and accept that it’s OK to be shy.
- Open up to people, and be honest about how you feel in particular social situations. “Tell people that you are shy and that handling this situation is challenging. If you join a mother’s group, for instance, the first time someone asks, ‘How are you?’ tell them, ‘I’m so glad to be here, but I always get a bit uncomfortable when I don’t know many people.’ The outgoing among the group may just take you under their wing if you let them know. They’ll make sure you get to know people.”
- Reach out to others who appear shy. “Act as if you are the host. Act as if your role—your job—is to make sure that everyone has a great time. You wouldn’t want anyone to feel as uncomfortable as you used to feel. So reach out to the wallflowers! Get them involved,” suggests Jackman-Wheitner.
Remember, every mother has been a new mom once, and many probably felt a bit insecure and in need of companionship from someone who has experienced similar feelings. The next time you’re at the grocery store and notice a mother with a newborn, take into account your feelings the first time you took your baby out shopping and reach out to her. You may be giving a new mother a much-needed boost in her self-esteem. And you never know, she may even become one of your closest friends.
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