After a busy day, many of us have little energy left for our mates. The needs of work, children, and the household are real and often immediate, leaving our spouses' needs last on our lists. Yet while an infant's needs should take priority—and yes, infants have a lot of needs—denying your spouse's needs and worrying only about the kids can be detrimental to your marriage.
One might assume a strong family unit focuses on the children, yet experts agree the heart of a successful family is a secure marriage. In Parent Power!, author John Rosemond states that the marriage is the nucleus of the family. It creates, defines, and sustains the family unit. Rosemond says, "Children's needs are met if the needs of the marriage are met."
Dr. Judith Siegel, author of What Children Learn from Their Parents' Marriage, agrees that couple time is a necessity. "I have found that couples who rarely spend time together are not able to support and take care of each other, and that there are painful consequences," says Dr. Siegel. Having children is stressful enough without the added burden of an unhappy marriage. Instead, experts agree couples should spend time together as a way to keep the marriage a priority.