Sleepless nights, hormonal changes, and not quite feeling like your sexy self again (or even your regular self for that matter!) can create challenges when trying to get back on track, sexually, post-pregnancy.
And by challenges, we mean roadblocks.
Here, 13 moms get real about sex after pregnancy. (So real, in fact, that they want to remain anonymous!)
- "Sex is not as spontaneous and sexy as it used to be due to limited about of alone time, and then when you are alone, you're exhausted. By the way, this all changes if you are on vacation alone. So go on vacation more!!!"
- "Um ... non-existent!"
- "Just call me Saharadry, but no time to get any water.'"
- "Sex becomes more routine and a mission, like going to the gym to workout—you're always too tired, too busy, and finding excuses to why you're not in the mood. Somehow my husband is more in the mood and I'm just trying to keep up."
- "I would say that you have to be opportunistic when having sex after pregnancy. And my husband would say it's infrequent."
- "The anticipation of it is the worst—you just pushed something out of your vagina, now you have to push something back in?"
- "Let's see, first time after Baby was much like the first time ever—minus the El Camino. Seeing as I was on a strict no orgasm/sex order throughout my pregnancy, when the time finally came there were lots of knees, elbows, rushed apologies, and horrified stolen glances. If I remember correctly it was a mid-morning quickie while my baby slept in her bassinet. I believe it was also the first time I used my now infamous line, 'Do you know what would be really sexy? If I lay here with my eyes shut and pretend I'm sleeping. Seriously, it's a fantasy.'"
- "Sex after pregnancy is starting over. Finding the trust with your partner again and discovering a deeper connection. But, it can only happen if both are ready to listen and respond to each other's needs."
- "Let's just say it didn't take long for me to understand the importance of doing Kegels! Everything down there did not go back to a, um, pleasurable norm until I was conscientious about the 'ol Kegels."
- "Sex during pregnancy? Awesome! I was super horny all the time and even dreamt about sex. Sex after the baby? Not so much but it depends on whether you ripped during labor or not. I ripped pretty badly so sex was actually painful for a while after (months). Plus if you are breastfeeding it seems that your libido is shot. You're more like a cow than a wife."
- "Awful is the best to way to describe sex after pregnancy. Just after having my son, sex was the last thing on my mind. I was having challenges producing milk, delirious from a lack of sleep, and simply overwhelmed by the entire situation. Add to everything else that sex was excruciatingly painful! I checked with my midwife to inquire if this was normal and it seems it is. The body has gone through a lot to say the least and it takes about six months to become enjoyable again. I found that to be true for me as well."
- "For me, sex after pregnancy was profoundly intimate. Once your physical, mental, and emotional body goes through the shifting changes of a pregnancy, and you can actually manifest a piece of yourself and your lover in physical form, sex seems to have even more meaning when shared. It is a way to reconnect as a couple, and take some time to honor the commitment you and your partner made. The act of sex for me changed post-pregnancy to become an act of love for your partner as well as for yourself."
- "There's no way around it: it's very strange at first! Even my doctor told me to have wine before trying! Then you get your groove back. And then of course you get pregnant again."