Sneaking in Sex with a Baby in the House
OMG, the baby’s going to hear us! Shhh!
Do you think he can hear us through the monitor?
What’s that sound? Did the baby just cry? We should check on him.
OMG, the baby’s going to hear us!
Having sex when there’s a new baby in the house can trigger all sorts of bedroom drama. And that’s totally understandable: It used to be just you two. Now you have a new housemate who’s totally adorable but just a little bit distracting (not to mention exhausting). These nookie strategies from other moms will help ensure some adults-only activity when you’re living in Babyland.
Work with Baby’s Schedule
“Once you’re ready to get back on the sex wagon after Baby, keep an open mind about when and where,” says Kristen Chase, a mom of four in Atlanta and author of The Mominatrix’s Guide to Sex. “If your baby has settled into a regular daytime sleep schedule then take advantage of naptime, when you’ll be more awake than at night. If the baby sleeps in your bedroom, christen another room in your house!” You may need to make a few adjustments to create the mood you’re looking for, she adds: “Close the curtains, turn on some music, and get to it. Just keep the baby monitor close by!”
Make an Action Plan
“We had to plan actual appointments for sex because it just doesn’t happen spontaneously when you’re tired and overwhelmed,” says Amy R., a mom of one in Rochester, New York, who blogs at The Little Ripper Report . She and her husband would make a point to crash early a few nights a week just for together time. Scheduling sex didn’t make it any less sexy—just the opposite, she says. “By planning ahead I had something to look forward to after chores, and I could get into the right mindset. It was important to be something other than a mom for a while.”
“You have to accept the fact that you’re only going to have time for quickies for a while, and you get it when you can!” says Crystal T., a mom of one in Gulfport, Mississippi. Truth: Three-minute sex is better than no sex.
Forget Sneaking In Sex—Go Away
“My little girl was a totally fussy baby—she was hard to put down and then she’d wake up every few hours. Oh, and she also slept in our room in a bassinet,” recalls Judy E., a mom of one in New York City. “My husband and I went without sex for months. And then, we decided we were going to have ourselves a sex weekend. Yessirree, a whole weekend of S-E-X. So we got his parents to babysit one weekend, booked ourselves a Saturday night at a nice local hotel, and we had ourselves a sex weekend!”
Take Comfort In Numbers
“You can always have the pool boy come during naptime,” suggests Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, a mom of one who lives outside Austin. “That’s a joke. Nobody really has sex after they have a baby.” OK, that’s not 100 percent true. But rest assured, there are plenty of other moms out there saying, “Not tonight, honey.”
Change Your Sense of Sexy
“With a new baby in the house, it never felt like a good time—I didn’t think I looked sexy, or that the situation was ever really conducive to sex,” says Beth Human, a mom of one in St. Louis, Missouri, who blogs at Twitchy Sort of Way. “I finally forced myself to quit worrying about all that. When it happened, I’d sink into the moment in whatever form it was happening in. We did try to shoot for times when each of us had showered within the last 24 hours, though.”
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