Pregnant and Alone: Finding Support

When He Can't Be There

There are many pregnant women who have a supportive partner, but because the couple is geographically separated they are unable to share the pregnancy experience. Weiner says that although there is simply no replacement for a father or husband, "a supplement is better than nothing." He explains that while it's critical to build a support system at home, you should involve your husband or the baby's father as much as possible throughout the pregnancy. Try giving him pregnancy updates over the phone, through mail, or email. You could even ask a friend to videotape the birth so that your partner may experience it secondhand.

Peterman points out that, "there is so much modern technology these days. You should take advantage of this technology to share the pregnancy with your partner—email pictures of yourself to him as you grow or send him sonograms. This allows you to share the joys of pregnancy with him while also making him a part of the experience."

Additionally, pregnant spouses of servicemen can look into services such as Operation Special Delivery and Operation Doula Care. These organizations provide volunteer doulas who donate their services during wartime to women who are giving birth while their partners are on military deployment. These services are extended to all branches of the United States military including families of those in the reserves and National Guard. You can also find support on BabyZone's Armed Forces Support Board.

Times of Trouble

If you can't seem to develop some sort of support system, or if you begin having a particularly difficult time dealing with being pregnant and alone, you should seek out professional help. "If you are really struggling, having a hard time coping or begin to have anxiety attacks, go see a mental health professional," Peterman stresses. "You don't want these kind of symptoms going on for too long because it's not good for you or the baby."

Peterman says that you may be falling into a deep depression if you notice that you're losing all motivation, if it becomes a struggle to simply get out of bed and take a shower, if you lose your appetite or if you can't sleep. She urges women to seek out counseling at the onset of these signs. "When you're pregnant, you're already going through so many hormonal changes, but depression can make these symptoms so much worse."

Above all, remember that you do not have to go through pregnancy by yourself. With the countless options available to pregnant women today, there is no reason for you to feel alone. And don't forget to enjoy your pregnancy! Remember, you are bringing an innocent new life into this world—a child who will doubtlessly fill your days with delight.