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Don't Take Everything Your Child Says Personally
Children learn the power of words at an early age. They also learn what things they can say to hit your "hot" buttons. Keep in mind young children have less skill than you in dealing with anger and frustration. Your best strategy is not to react when your child calls you a name or tells you you're a lousy parent. Let the words and negative comments slide off. Your child may mean it at the time, but won't feel the same in five minutes if you don't react.
Remember, your words are powerful, too. When a child says something hurtful, let her know how you feel and give her another way to say it.
Source: "Anger: A Guide for Parents" and "Dealing with a Child's Anger" Positive Parenting; a video-based curriculum, Minnesota Extension Service and University of Wisconsin-Extension 1995.