Tips for Handling Anger

Anger. It's real. It's normal. Everyone experiences it. However, you can find ways to express your anger that don't hurt, belittle, or insult your children.

Anger in its destructive form can make a child's misbehavior worse. If you control your reaction to something your child does, the behavior will stop sooner, won't last as long, or be as severe. Both you and your child will feel better about how you handled the situation.

This does not mean that you shouldn't get angry when your child misbehaves. Children need to understand that their behavior upsets you. Most importantly, they need to understand why you are upset. For example, if your child loses a pair of scissors, you need to say, "I'm upset because I need those scissors for my sewing project," rather than name calling.

All children will misbehave, and anger is inevitable. If you are having trouble handling your anger, here are a series of techniques to help you keep calm and plan your reaction to their behavior.

1. Stop: Pause for a moment and cool off. Don't discipline the child while you are angry.
   
2. Think: Read the situation quickly. Try to determine what is really happening.
   
3. Plan: Form a plan. Evaluate the problem, have a purpose, set goals, think of alternatives.
   
4. Act: Carry out your decision