The Babysitter: A Parent's Partner

Definite do's for hiring a sitter

Parents are in partnership with those people who care for their kids. Learn how to get the best out of your babysitter and foster a healthy, beneficial relationship for you all.

Over the years, we've had lots of babysitters for our three kids, and truly, most of them have been terrific. There's one in particular who's almost part of our family. She's known and cared for our children ever since two of them were born. She genuinely cares for my kids, and that's probably why they, in turn, like her so much. (I'd mention her name only I selfishly want to keep her for myself!)

We've had other good sitters, as well. Teenage girls and boys who have also been conscientious and wonderful. They've managed to engage the kids in constructive, fun, and imaginative pursuits. And even though my children can give any experienced mother a run for her money, these sitters been able to handle the kids like pros.

In the good old days my husband and I didn't need babysitters. We lived in New York, and my parents and other relatives would watch our son (the only child we had at the time). My mother, for instance, would actually call us up on Saturday nights and say, "I'm coming over to watch Cullen. Where do you two want to go tonight?" And of course, my husband and I would happily go out on the spur of the moment, knowing that our sweet boy was well taken care of.

One Family's First Babysitter

Our first babysitting experience occurred on a house-hunting trip to Massachusetts, six years ago. We were staying with my husband's brother, his wife, and young daughter. Our hosts suggested going out for dinner and had lined up one of their regular sitters. Though this was going to be the first time we would be leaving our 18-month-old son with a "real" babysitter, I didn't have strong qualms about it. After all, we were going to a restaurant nearby and would only be gone for about two hours.

Before we left, I carefully explained my son's bedtime routine, and added, "He's been really difficult to put to sleep lately, so it might be easiest to just let him stay up until we get back. Especially since he had such a late nap this afternoon." The sitter nodded her understanding, and we said goodnight to the kids and left.

When we returned two hours later, the sitter was on the phone, and Cullen wasn't in the playpen or family room. She abruptly ended her phone conversation, and explained, "Oh, he started crying right after you left, so I put him to bed." With a sinking heart, I started up the stairs for the guest room and found our son, bright pink and sweaty. He had obviously been crying for a long time, and even though he had finally fallen asleep, there was still a sobbing catch in his breath. I'm sure you can imagine how I felt.

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