5 Tips to Help New Dads Feel More Confident

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Many men worry that they don't have enough experience with infants to be good first-time fathers. As a new dad, how can you be more comfortable with your newborn? These easy and helpful tips will get you started on the right track.

I once received a letter from a new father who wrote, "I haven't had much experience with infants and I want to be involved in my daughter's care, but every time I try to pick her up, she starts to fret. How can I feel more competent?" This sentiment is a common refrain with first-time fathers. Some worry they'll do the wrong thing, drop the baby, or even inadvertently hurt their newborns.

Few things can make a man feel less like a man than feeling incompetent. And nothing can make a man feel more incompetent than a fussy baby. Fortunately, it's pretty easy to overcome these feelings. Here are five easy tips to help you allay new-dad fears.

Don't Hand Your Child Off to Your Wife

She may be able to get your baby to stop crying a little quicker than you do, but the truth is that whatever your wife knows about children, she learned by doing—just like anything else. And the way you're going to get better is by doing things, too. Research shows that lack of opportunity may be one of the biggest obstacles to fathers' feeling more comfortable with their children. In other words, the more time you spend with your child, the more competent you'll feel.

Don't Let Your Wife Take Over

Instead, try a few lines like, "I think I can handle things," or "That's OK—I really need the practice." There's nothing wrong with asking her for advice, of course—you both have insights that the other could benefit from. But have her tell you instead of doing it for you. Don't be afraid to make a few decisions—and a few mistakes—on your own.