30 Days of Thanks: My Marriage Isn't Sexy, But It's Stable
Having kids can change a marriage, and I'm grateful for that change
When my husband and I married five years ago, things were much different than they are now. I was thin. Pretty. Had decent fashion sense. My husband was easy going, without a stress in the world. He used to be a professional model and, while he is still as gorgeous as ever, loved his job back then. We were two people, relishing in our relationship as a small family unit. We were sexy, in love and … not parents.
Fast forward five years, two kids, one mortgage and you get a marriage that is … stable. True, my marriage is not sexy. Most mornings I sneak out of bed before anyone is awake. Later, the morning proceeds like a scrambled dance of breakfast, getting kids ready and pushing him out the door with a quick kiss before it closes behind him, and I face to tackle the day. We call, at least once, to check in with each other—making sure we’re maintaining the emotional reserves necessary to stay tactfully in-charge with our behaviors—and continue on the day. The evening is an encore of the morning dance, with variations of dinner and bath time to balance. The night ends with us plopped on the couch, exhausted, with our laptops open and HGTV House Hunters International taunting us with adventure.
We are so not the sexy couple we used to be.
But we are stable, and I am eternally thankful for that.
My husband is my rock, and I don’t know what I’d do without him. When the dust settles and the lights aren’t shining, when there is nothing left of me that I want others to see, my husband still loves me. When my feet are cracked and I haven’t shaved in a week, my husband still loves me. When I cry for no reason or scream for the slightest one, my husband is there—dealing with me and loving me. How do you thank someone for that?
During these 30 days of thanks, I want to show gratitude for the men in our lives who aren’t sexy. Sexiness takes a level of self indulgence that, while I judge no one for wanting to actually look presentable, there is just no time for that in our lives right now. We’re busy parents, focused on raising great kids and providing a solid foundation for them. During these 30 days of thanks, I want to appreciate the men in our lives that provide stability in their love and affection for us. That’s pretty sexy in my book, anyway.
These men work hard, play with their kids, call their wives for advice, throw in loads of laundry, pick up dog poop and build a legacy of stability that is the base for many future generations to be proud of. I’m okay with our marriage never being sexy again, so long as it stays stable. Although, once our little ones are out of the baby zone, I’m sure we’ll get our sexy back…
There’s so much to be thankful for, we can’t fit them all into one post! Check out BabyZone’s 30 Days of Thanks page to see all the things—great and small—that we can be grateful for each day.
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