5 Stages of Sleep Training
Just give it up.
New parents are basically in denial. “Oh no, my baby sleeps great. Almost two whole hours at a time. Pretty soon, she’ll be sleeping through the night. Any day now. What a great sleeper.” Poor parents, they are just love drunk. They don’t know better.
Once all that new baby adrenaline leaves parents get sleepy and then they get testy. “Why won’t you sleep, baby? WHY? Dear God, why won’t you sleep?” I mean sure, the baby books and the doctor say your baby is waking up because he is hungry, but at some point it begins to feel personal. Like every 3 AM cry is just another way your baby is sticking it to the man.
Once the anger and frustration abate, this is when parents start bargaining. They try dream feeds, one swaddle, a new swaddle, a mobile, white noise, Ferber, crying it out… “Hey, baby will you sleep if I get so tired I forget to put the coffee pot into the machine before it starts percolating? How about if I wear mismatched shoes to Target? How about now?”
This is when parents realize that they are just going to be chronically sleep deprived for a long time and even if the baby does sleep through the night, there are a whole host of things that will ruin it–teeth, colds, learning to roll over, learning to sit up–whatever you do, it doesn’t matter. No sleep. Probably for years. Pretty depressing, I know.
This is when parents buy more coffee, stop googling, “Why does my baby hate me?” And settle in for the long haul. It’s alright, you didn’t need all your brain cells anyway.
It doesn't matter if it is the cold or the flu, illness moves through my house in the same way. At first there is denial (we aren't sick!), anger (that lousy kid at the library did this!), bargaining (maybe if we all just take shots of Tylenol?), depression (we will never be well) and finally acceptance (someone deliver some soup, we will be here a while).view gallery
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