21 Weeks Pregnant

When Something Goes Wrong
Lugging an extra 10 to 20 pounds or more can be terribly exhausting for some pregnant women. Combine that weight with the rigors of day-to-day life, and your spouse's body is now working harder than it ever has before to simply walk from the car to the front door, up and down stairs at the office, or around the grocery aisles. The truth is, pregnancy affects every woman differently, and it is hard—if not impossible—to determine how it is going to affect your partner. If your spouse begins to feel ill at this point in her pregnancy, experiences complications, or is ordered onto partial or complete bed rest, it becomes your job to do everything in your power to help her.

When the unplanned occurs during pregnancy, it is stressful for both you and your spouse. In order to help her, you'll need to be as flexible and creative as possible. She may need to have more food or water with her wherever she goes (equipping her with a Camelbak or other low-weight, ergonomic water carrier can be key). She may need to remain lying down as much as possible (try rearranging areas in your home so she is never far from anything she needs). You can help by setting up a little snack and water tray by the bed or couch. Get her good books to read, videos to watch, or music to listen to.

Remember, taking care of your partner gives her a better chance of carrying to full-term and delivering a healthy baby for you both.

But to take care of yourself, you'll also need to think creatively. You can't afford to be overwhelmed by stress but like many expecting dads, the added stress and worry affects you, too, and you don't want to burden your partner more than she already is. Yet it is extremely important that you find some way to manage your increased stress. Try talking to friends and family, seek out the advice of fathers who have already been through this. Check out resources on the Web to help you feel more connected, less isolated, less alone.

When things get tough, it is even more important that you two find special time together, time where you can push aside the stress and anxiety and remember that it was the love you two have for each other that brought you here today, that your love for each other, your ability to communicate, to share, to love will be what helps you both get through all of this together.