6 Things Expectant Fathers Are Worried About (And Afraid To Tell You)
Ask an expectant father how he feels about becoming a dad, and he’ll probably tell you that he’s excited. What he’s far less likely to mention are all of the other feelings he’s experiencing. Ever wonder what your expectant father is really thinking about when you’re creating a baby registry or discussing baby names? Check out these six common worries of expectant fathers and this veteran dad’s advice.
1. Is all the fun over?
Many men are afraid to admit they’re worried about whether they’ll still be able to do youthful things like hang out with their pals, play video games, or join a sports team.
Advice to expectant fathers:
I’m not going to lie, guys. Becoming a father means letting go of a lot of the stuff you did in your younger days. That doesn’t mean you won’t be able to hang with your pals or play a few video games, but other priorities will come first. The good news is that when the time comes you won’t mind as much as you think you will.
2. Will my wife change?
While some men are preoccupied with the possibility of their wife changing physically, in my experience more men are worried that their wife’s personality is going to change. Will she stop being fun? Turn into a taskmaster?
An experienced father says:
My wife is the same silly, fun women that she was before we had kids, and my friends who became moms are still the same cool ladies they were when I met them. Your wife won’t suddenly morph into Marie Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond, I promise!
3. What’s going to happen to our sex life?
Everyone has heard stand-up comedians joke that sex all but disappears after kids. Most expectant fathers worry that this might be true.
Dads-to-be should know:
Comedians are exaggerating when they say cops love donuts, and they’re exaggerating on this subject too. Will you and your wife be more tired than before? Will you have less private time? Yes and yes. But intimacy continues after babies. If it didn’t the world would be full of only children!
4. Are my dreams/goals over?
Becoming a dad means dedicating yourself to helping your little person realize his or her hopes and dreams. Many expectant fathers worry that, in order to do that, they’ll have to put aside their own unrealized goals and dreams.
Fathers-to-be should know:
Having a child does mean you’ll have less time and more responsibilities. Some dreams, like climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, might have to go unrealized, but others can still be pursued. I’ve managed to write six screenplays since becoming a dad!
5. Can I handle being a father?
A lot is expected of a dad, not just on the day a baby is born but eighteen years into the future and beyond. Expectant fathers often wonder if they’re up to the task.
The truth is:
The expectations on a dad can be overwhelming at first, but in time you’ll be surprised to see just how much you’re able to handle. There’s a lot of personal satisfaction that comes from knowing you’re doing everything a dad should.
6. Will I live up to my father’s example?
Many expectant fathers worry they’ll never be as good as their own father, while others who were disappointed by their father worry they won’t be any better.
Says an experienced father:
Once your baby arrives and you’re actively fathering your child it quickly becomes clear that you don’t have to worry about being your father. All you have to worry about is being the best father possible to your beautiful baby.
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