Q&A: Is intense anger over my baby's sex normal?
We are expecting our third child in August of this year. Our first two children are boys (ages 7 1/2 and 5). We just found out that this one is a boy too. This is where my question begins because I am devastated, angry, frustrated, depressed, and every other thing you can think of. Is this intense anger normal?
I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling. In some ways, it can be easier to find out at birth, when you have a healthy baby to love, although some parents feel it is easier to have the time to adjust before the baby comes.
Many parents-to-be who really wanted a child of one sex feel very upset when they find out this one isn’t what they were hoping for. Most of the time, these intense negative feelings are a stage in adjustment to the situation, almost like the stages of grief for the girl that you wanted. There can be a deep sense of loss. Typically, these feelings lessen as the due date approaches, and excitement about the new arrival starts to build.
As you get closer to birth, you will probably start to feel better. If your due date is approaching and you are still struggling with anger and depression, consider seeing a counselor to help you work through this grieving process, so you can enjoy the baby when he arrives. Both you and your baby-to-be deserve to have a joyful loving start to your family’s next phase.