Ode to the Dollar Store Pregnancy Test
Back in my super-broke days, I used a dollar store pregnancy test to find out I was pregnant with my first son.
Back in my super-broke days, I used a dollar store test to find out I was pregnant with my first son. Did it feel just a little bit sketchy? Yes. Was it effective? You tell me: the kid’s now two and a half.
Oh, dollar store test. I remember staring skeptically at you in the aisle. My period was late – really late – and I had run by a grocery store on my way home from work. “$20 for a pregnancy test? I’m not THAT desperate to find out!” Dollar Tree was across the street and I snuck over, feeling like a rebel as I jaywalked into the land of discounted generics.
“This has to be top two on the list of things you shouldn’t buy at a dollar store,” my husband blinked at the purple and pink box. “Condoms and pregnancy tests. Those are things you want to work.”
I generally shared his aversion to knockoff brands, but I had money on my mind. “How much do babies cost?” I pondered aloud. “If I had to do a monthly breakdown, what would it be? Diapers, clothes, formula. This thing’ll need a crib. And somewhere to PUT the crib.”
He looked worried. I grabbed three of you, dear dollar store tests, and headed for the register. I tossed in some Oreos while I was at it because checking out with nothing but a stack full of pee sticks seemed weird.
Three minutes spent hovering over the bathroom counter felt like an eternity, but those lines showed up straight and bold. I tore through the next package, and the next. “I really should have drank more water today. You don’t realize how dehydrated you are until you try to pee on command.”
I sent my husband back to the pricey grocery store to get a “real test” to confirm, but I knew. I was petrified, and happy, and couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot.
Thank you, inexpensive little package, for breaking the news that my life was about to change. I have to say, I’m glad my cheap-o dollar store pregnancy test wasn’t a dud.
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