How I Told a Close Friend I'm Pregnant Again While She's Still Trying
Eventually I had to tell my friend that I'm expecting another baby, even though she's still trying for her first.
When it comes to getting pregnant and having healthy babies, I’m ridiculously lucky. If all continues to go well, I’ll have my fourth baby in May, all in just five years. My husband and I have always wanted a big family but got started later than many who have them, so it’s been a very pregnant few years for me.
Most of my friends have small children now too, and most of them had a fairly easy time bringing them into the world. But I also have a close friend who married this spring, and after six months or so is starting to get frustrated by the waiting—waiting for the telltale signs of ovulation, waiting for the days to pass before it makes sense to take a pregnancy test (and taking one anyway), then waiting to try again next month. Waiting, as she said, “for my turn.”
Six months isn’t that long in the world of baby making, but it’s not easy either. When I found out I was pregnant with my fourth child, I was just as surprised as I was the very first time. My husband and I had considered a fourth, but when it didn’t happen immediately like the others, we figured it wasn’t meant to be and let it go. Factor in the “romance” level of parents with small children, and you know the chances of conceiving again were very small. (My husband would say miniscule.) But still, there it was, an extra line on a tiny screen that I held in my hand. Shocked, excited and actually wondering how I would pull this off, I waited two days to tell my husband.
With my own thoughts not totally worked out, I started waiting too. I was also waiting for my friend to email me with the news that she was pregnant too. I waited one month. A second month, and a third. By the fourth month, I decided to just tell her. She lives two continents away, so email and Skype are our means of communication. Writing the email I’d hope to receive in her shoes, I told her our news. That I knew she’d be happy for me because that’s the kind of friend she is.
I also admitted that I dreaded telling her because it felt like an embarrassment of riches. Why do I get to have FOUR babies when she’s just trying to get her loving hands on one? I said that I’d waited to share, knowing that her own bun is working it’s way into her oven, and I’d hoped to wait until she told me first. But my own Type A baby wasn’t cooperating. I wanted her to know that I understood how she might feel, and I hoped my news would be inspiring, not hurtful.
While my heart pounded in North Carolina, she wrote back quickly but briefly from Asia, saying among other things, “Wow, count me inspired!” A week later I got a hopeful note saying she was a few days late. I gasped and crossed my fingers. The next day another email arrived. No baby this month.
I told her I think that it’s too early to worry. And no matter what happens I’m so grateful that we can still be friends while she waits. We can still wait together.
Since that time I’ve figured out how my own family will work, at least I think so, and I’m really excited. This baby will be born into the family I’d always hoped to have and I cannot believe my luck. Speaking of luck, with any at all, my friend will have some too very soon.
YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN