On the Eve of My Induction...
I never thought I'd be induced, yet at 41 weeks, that's exactly what's about to happen tomorrow. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster with my emotions right now.
However, I almost started crying right then and there because I knew that once Pitocin was introduced, constant monitoring would be needed. I envisioned my labor and delivery to be one where I didn’t need to be hooked up to machines for long, let alone a constant IV. I for sure thought it meant that my experience with birthing Abby and being in bed the entire time (which I now know wasn’t necessary) was going to happen again with sister. I hated having to stay in bed for my entire first delivery. The pain was unbearable and I wanted out! My doctor assured me, though, that I wouldn’t have to remain in bed. I’d just need to stay within cord’s stretch of the monitor. And if everything was looking great with baby, I’d be able to have some time unhooked from the monitor so I could get in the bathtub.
Cue the calmness starting to return and the anxiety starting to leave my head.
Is this the ideal situation I wanted to find myself in? Nope. But I’m starting to come to terms with the reality of it all as I sit here on the eve of my induction. And part of me, the Type A part, is sort of OK with this. The part that likes to know what’s going to happen and when it’s going to happen. I’m feeling in control and without control all at the same time. If that even makes sense
Mostly, though, my head and my heart go to my Abby. She requested homemade pancakes with whipped cream and chocolate syrup this morning for breakfast. Of course I obliged. It’s going to be her last day as an only child. Tomorrow her world will be changed forever. Our family’s world will be changed forever. It’s exciting and scary all at the same time. More mixed emotions. I feel like giving her a sibling, a sister, is such a blessing, yet I worry about the transition. And knowing the exact date of when that transition will happen is a bit nerve-wracking
I’m going to spend the rest of today trying to remain calm. Trying to make the day as normal as possible for my family, especially for Abby. I’ll make us a great dinner and let her have extra ice cream for dessert. And we’ll probably let Abby stay up a little later than usual. Oh, and I’m going to try not to cry either. So many emotions and thoughts are rolling through my head right now.
But mostly, I’m going to need some deep breaths to control my excitement. It’s finally here! The day when our family of three becomes a family of four. The day when our family will be complete. The day I’ve been dreaming about ever since we had Abby.
And who knows. I could go into labor before I get called in tomorrow and all of these trepidations will have been for nothing!
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