Or the Lack of It ...
I am heading for some definite risqué territory here, so if you're uncomfortable talking about sex, turn back now … but you're probably pretty familiar with this topic if you're pregnant or trying, right? Right. So, this week was all about sex at my house—or more to the point, the lack of it.
Too Much of a Good Thing?
We spent almost three years trying to get pregnant. For those of you out there going through the same thing, you know it is an exhausting situation. We were having sex every three days, trying different times and positions, and in general turning something that's supposed to be special, beautiful, and hot into a timed activity. We tried to spice things up once a month, but even that started disappearing.
I wanted to mention I did a lot of research and experiments during those almost three years of "trying." I found that the absolute worst type of lubricant to use while trying to get pregnant is human saliva. It kills sperm! I know we all like some oral stimulation, but try to keep it to a minimum! I also discovered that many lubricants that are available to us at the drugstore, where most of us grab and go without much thought, can limit sperm mobility (who knew?). I found one lubricant that stated that is was the only one that would actually "help" you get pregnant (Pre-seed). Well, I ordered it before I finished reading the whole sales pitch. I'm not going to lie to you—the month that we tried it was the month I got pregnant. Who knows?
At first we were a bit scared and weirded out by the idea of having sex when I found out I was pregnant. My husband was worried he was going to be poking the baby around (I think all men worry about this). I put my hand over the area on my belly where the baby is, and I think he was able to see that the little bugger was going to be safe. We did find certain positions (missionary) were not so comfortable for me, and he found he could feel a difference—nothing bad, just different—also. This is a new phase of our life, so we made sure to communicate and try to make ourselves comfortable.
Getting Back in the Mood
Back to today, this week in general. I'm not saying there hasn't been sex before this week—it just seemed this week in particular the big topic raised its hand and demanded to be heard. I was quite enjoying having a brief vacation from the three-day activity, and in all honesty, I was not in the mood. I was happy to indulge in a morning quickie here and there, but was not interested at week 11 in any sort of foreplay, especially anything that included touching anywhere, even a glance, at my overabundant bosom. Hugging hurts! I don't want my breasts fondled or cherished.
I gently explained to my husband that I loved him and was so happy we had created this wonderful little being inside me, but I needed a little time before the hot sex was going to happen again. He pouted, but was understanding.
I checked it all out—unless your doctor says otherwise (for example, if you're having a high-risk pregnancy) intimacy is fair game. Sex is natural and good, and what got me here. I want to feel sexual and beautiful, but it's just not happening right now. I'm going to do a little extra to make sure my husband knows I love him, and really try to plan—when I am feeling ready—to have a special sexy time with him. Until then, we will just hold hands a lot!
Waist measurement: 34 inches
Weekly weigh-in: 154 pounds
My pregnancy advice for the week: Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you can't have sex, you just might not want to! Although I have friends who tell me they've never felt sexier than when they're pregnant—they're having more "action" in the bedroom than in their pre-pregnancy days!
Pregnancy "first" of the week: I had to buy some better-fitting clothes! I'm not ready to hit the maternity stores yet, but definitely can't wear a lot of my tighter jeans.
Doctor's visit: None this week.
About the Photo: The above picture of the author was taken during her 11th week of pregnancy by Dean Lipoff.
Read the next installment: week 12