I'm getting ready for the big baby shower event next week. My guess is everyone will have lots of questions about the baby—my birth philosophy, my parenting style, my choice to keep working or not. My husband and I have made some decisions about our future baby, but I think for the most part, we are taking it all as it comes and trying not to have too many expectations or set too many plans. This seems to be working really well for the two of us (and I think the future third), as we aren't feeling overwhelmed or stressed, but everyone else is a little anxious about it all.
I've discovered that when you become pregnant, at first it is a pretty personal experience. No one really knows other than you and your partner and you're a little unsure what's happening and what to expect next. I look back to that simple time before all the tests and hoopla and think how calm and quiet everything was. Now, everyone can see that something is going on in there, and they all have an opinion!
When Others Question Your Decisions
My week started out with a function at my school—back to school night. I chatted with several families, many of whom I've known for the five years that I've been at the school. Most offered congratulations and asked me about my future plans. Some even asked the exact date I would be returning to work! At first I was a little taken aback by their bluntness, and then just decided to answer honestly with, "I'm going to see how it goes." Some liked that answer, some didn't. Toward the end of the night, I was talking to a couple and chatting away about how well their son is doing when the father asked me why I chose not to find out the sex of my child. He said, "You know, this is the 21st-Century, there is the technology available to find these things out." I explained that it was a decision my husband and I made together. He said to get ready for lots of orange, green, and brown stuff because people won't know what to buy. I was tired when I got home.
Later in the week I had a manicure and pedicure in preparation for my baby shower and mostly because I can't reach my toes anymore. I don't have them very often. Some of my friends say you shouldn't have them while you're pregnant (fears of picking up an infection at the pedicure place), but I trust the business that I use. When I got to the shop, ladies working there began a lengthy discussion of what I was having—a boy or a girl. They couldn't agree, but offered lots of opinions to support their guesses. I decided to just sit back and relax while they chatted on and on. Who knows the next time I'll be able to indulge in a manicure and pedicure—right?
When Others Worry More than You Do!
So, how did this happen? Why is it that everyone else is more crazed about my future baby than I am? I've always enjoyed listening to others' opinions and engaging in a good debate about current events or hot topics, but why was I opting out on this? Instead of standing my ground and defending the choices my husband and I have made, I more often than not find myself sweetly smiling and nodding along with whatever is being said, and eventually walking away without saying anything one way or another. Have my crazy hormones caused me to be more relaxed?
When I talked to my husband about it later, he thought it was so great that I was having such a positive attitude about it and not getting all defensive (which I do have a history of doing).
When I retell some of the conversations I've had with close friends, I find myself laughing about the whole thing. Maybe I'm more laid back because my husband and I feel good about the decisions that we have made without letting others pressure us to do things the way they feel they should be done. Lots of other people have had babies and they got to do it their way. My advice? Don't worry about what other people say, it's your baby and you get to do things how you want!
Waist measurement: 41 inches
Weekly weigh-in: 163 pounds
Pregnancy symptoms: You can see the baby kicking and moving around in my belly!
My favorite pregnancy anecdote for the week: "You really don't want to know if it is a boy or a girl?" people ask. Really, I don't.
Pregnancy "first" of the week: Not many firsts left ... just trying to celebrate each day!
Doctor's visit: Not this week.
About the Photo: The above picture of the author was taken during her 27th week of pregnancy by Dean Lipoff.
Read the next installment: week 28
Want to see what your growing baby looks like every step of the way? Explore our fetal development week by week photo gallery.