Q&A: How do I deal with a sexually-curious preschooler?

Young children are explorers and are naturally curious about their own bodies as well as others'. Masturbation in toddlerhood isn't a 'sexual' experience, it's merely a pleasurable one.

The same applies in the preschool years, though some children tend to masturbate more than others. Stress can increase self-stimulatory and self-soothing behaviors, though you should be seeing other signs of stress as well--anxiety, unusually strong fears and phobias, and difficulty sleeping, to name a few examples.

Assuming that your child is otherwise thriving and developing normally, the habit of masturbation isn't any kind of a sign of later sexual orientation or tendencies. Your responses two years ago to the daycare providers were the right ones.

However, your son will soon be entering the wider world of school and needs to adapt to the customs of our culture, one of which is frowning upon public masturbation. Forbidding it isn't advisable, as it is 'normal', but you can begin to teach your son that certain activities are best done in private. Two years ago he was too young to understand this, but he should now. Choose a place that gives him privacy, but one that doesn't feel like a punishment, then establish the rule that this is where this activity is ok.