Should Men Have Dadchelor Parties?
Pregnant women have baby showers, shouldn't men get to celebrate, too?
Around the same time expectant women traditionally have their baby showers, a growing number of men are enjoying a pre-baby event of their own: dadchelor parties. For those who don’t know, dadchelor parties are where first time dads-to-be get together with their pals to catch a ballgame, hit the bars, or even spend a weekend in Vegas. So what are we to make of this dadchelor party trend? Is it one that should catch on? Or are guys who throw these parties pushing their luck? As a fully licensed, card carrying dad, I’d like to weigh in on the matter.
First off, let me say that guys who do this are a lot bolder than me. When my wife, Heather, was pregnant with our first child six years ago, I never would have dared to suggest that I run off to Vegas while she stayed behind to deal with morning sickness and all the other challenges of pregnancy. Even if that weren’t the case, though, the whole dadchelor party concept strikes me as pretty ridiculous. While baby showers are almost entirely focused around the baby, dadchelor parties seem, for the most part, to be an excuse for guys to get a little crazy. Moms-to-be don’t go out partying like girls gone wild, so why should dads-to-be?
With that said, I do think there probably is more merit to the majority of these parties than it would seem. I have a buddy who went to a “bowling and beer” dadchelor party last year, and he said that, amidst the beer and horsing around, there was a surprising amount of talk about parenthood. The dad-to-be, according to my buddy, genuinely needed the opportunity to discuss becoming a dad with his pals, and was especially interested in picking the brains of his friends who already had kids. Men may not always express it outwardly, but when it comes to taking a life-step as huge as becoming a parent, they crave encouragement and support from their family and friends as much as women do.
My solution? Expectant parents should throw joint baby showers! My college buddy, Jason, and his wife, Kelly, threw one before the birth of their daughter, and it was equally enjoyed by both male and female guests. In fact, the men, instead of being bored as some might expect, threw themselves into the “decorate a onesie” game with even more enthusiasm than the women! Moms and dads-to-be are going to have to share all of the good and bad of parenting after the baby arrives, so why not start sharing the good (like a baby shower) before? A joint baby shower is a chance for a couple to bond over this incredible journey they’re about to embark on, and only good can come from that. I can’t say the same about a trip to Vegas!
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