How to Get Your Toddler to Sleep

By Dr. Tanya Byron BSc, MSc, PsychD

In this article:
Develop a Bedtime Routine
Remain Firm
How Much Sleep Is Enough?

Is bedtime the source of arguments and tears in your household? Develop a firm routine that will have your child nodding off in no time. Child psychologist Dr. Tanya Byron offers expert advice in her book Your Toddler Month by Month.

Develop a Bedtime Routine

An ideal bedtime routine might go:

Mealtime
Playtime
Bathtime
Into pajamas
Final drink
Teeth cleaning
Into bed
Bedtime story
End of story warning
Finish story
Kiss and a cuddle
Lights out (or leave a nightlight on if necessary)

Remain Firm

Do not give in to pleas for longer bathtime or more stories, or you will reinforce them as habits that mean settling your toddler takes longer. Simply put her to bed and leave the room quietly. Of course, this is often easier said than done. A child who has got into the habit of getting out of bed or waking in the night, will take time to adjust, but be patient. If your child is very anxious, you may need to take a more gentle approach, by using the gradual withdrawal technique.

Even in exceptional circumstances, it is a good idea to keep to the sleep routine if possible. Perhaps your child has been ill, or you have been staying away from home; you may be potty training or a nighttime disruption has meant your child has needed reassurance. Whatever the reason for your child requiring extra attention at night, bear in mind that learning to sleep through the night on her own is essential for her healthy development and well-being. Even if your child is suffering from night terrors or nightmares she is probably better off learning to settle in her own bed.

However, this is much more about personal choice, and you must do what works for you and your family.

How Much Sleep Is Enough?

The chart below shows the average amount of sleep that is recommended for children from one to four years of age. All children are different, so this is not a strict regime, but dropping significantly below these levels at night could cause problems—as could too much napping during the day.

AGE	NIGHT	DAY NAPS	TOTAL SLEEP	IDEAL BEDTIME
12-18 months	11 ½ hours	two naps (two and ¼ hours total)	13 ¾ hours	6-7 PM
18-24 months	11 ½ hours	two naps (two hours total)	13 ½ hours	6-7 PM
24-36 months	11 hours	one nap (two hours total)	13 hours	6-7 PM
36-48 months	11 hours	one nap (one hour total)	12 hours	6-7:30 PM