The Truth about Tantrums: 8 Things You Should Know

Part of keeping the tantrum "neutral" in terms of power means letting your child know upfront what to expect. Kratz recommends announcing firmly that you plan to ignore the tantrum once it starts. Then make it clear that you'll continue what you're doing (even if it's small talk with other adults) while keeping him or her in sight.

Ever notice how hard it is to have a discussion when you're really upset? It's even more true for your youngster. "During a tantrum, your child is in a very raw state. It's just not time to begin to reason or argue," says Kratz. Instead, she recommends describing your child's feelings to help him or her find the language to express emotions. An example might be: "You seem very angry about having to leave the playground."

You can also teach children to think about how their emotions affect others by describing your own feelings: "I get frustrated when you act like this."